Category: Manifesting


Seeing 11:11 Everywhere: What Does It Mean?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have seen the number sequence 11:11 over and over many times on clocks, and then a couple of years ago, I started seeing it other places, and it really struck me. I searched the internet and found that many other people have had this same experience of seeing 11:11 all the time. That day opened up a new world for me, and I started to question many things. Before this, I lived my life without thinking much about anything beyond the mundane. Then I found a website that explained that seeing 11:11 was a prompt from angels, and a sign they are trying to communicate with us. I’m still struggling to understand this. Then another door opened: a lightworker gave me a healing, and told me I had an aura unlike any she’d seen before, and then a psychic told me that I am an incarnated angel. I’m very analytical, and I’m finding all of this hard to swallow. I have no special gifts, but I’m starting to wonder. I feel this need to do something, but I don’t know what it is, and I’m getting impatient. What do you make of all this?
– Angela

Dear Angela:

It was with a smile that I noted your name is Angela!

First, I think it’s important to remember that our interpretation of any situation or experience will be colored by our belief system. Since you didn’t have any relevant spiritual beliefs about this 11:11 experience when it began, you didn’t know what to make of it.

The psychic who told you that you are an angel incarnate was putting her own labels and understanding on what this might mean. A different person might have told you something totally different. For example, a “lightworker” might have told you that this is a sign that you are here on a certain spiritual mission. As there are a lot of different ways to interpret and express the same underlying truth, I think we should back up and explore the general meaning of this experience. The specific path you choose to follow in light of that general meaning will be up to you, and it will prove as individual as you are.

I do want to commend you for questioning all of this. I’m sure a lot of people would like to think they’re angels incarnate. (For the record, I’m quite sure I’m NOT, and my husband will back me up on that.) For those readers who are now wondering, “Hmmm…I wonder if I’m an angel incarnate too?” I’d like to offer this perspective: despite the sweetness and goodness we associate with angels, it might not be a good thing to be an angel incarnate, if that is even possible. According to spiritual lore, humans and angels are essentially different in that humans are made in God’s image and have free will, while angels do not. So in this sense, we might say that humans are more “God-like” than angels. In this hierarchy, God is like the parents, humans are like the children, and angels are like the nannies hired to follow the parents’ orders and watch over the kids. If this lore is true, then given a choice, I think I’d rather be human than an angel.

Now is it possible that you could be an angel incarnate? Some people say that angels never incarnate as humans; others say there are angels in disguise around us all the time; still others say that angels can take human form, but only temporarily – like a man who shows up and saves you when you’re in trouble, then disappears on the spot. I personally wouldn’t presume to don’t know which is true. When I meditate on this and ask about it all, all I get back is an enigmatic, All things are possible. Put angels aside: the real question is what this course of experience is trying to tell her.

That matter is far easier to address. As you no doubt know by now, you are definitely not alone in seeing 11:11 everywhere, or for that matter, a number of other repeating number sequences. A simple internet search will yield thousands of websites wherein this phenomenon is discussed. As far out as this all sounds, I experienced it myself years ago, so I know it really happens.

Most people begin by seeing 11:11 or other striking number sequences (such as 22:22, 12:34, etc.) on digital clocks. Every time they look at a clock, it just happens to have such a number on it. If they pay attention, they start to realize that they have an impulse to look at the clock when such a number is displayed, and that this impulse/experience has a certain feeling to it – it feels like someone is trying to tell them something.

If they don’t figure out what this means at this point, they usually experience an acceleration of this phenomenon. They start seeing number sequences everywhere: on receipts, license plates, VCR’s, microwaves, addresses, etc. They may begin to wake up at night and look at the clock at the exact moment it will display this sequence. Some have even had the power go out, and instead of the clocks in the house all blinking 12:00, they all blink 11:11, or whatever sequence has been following them around.

So what is this all about?

Some say that these are signs from our angels that they are with us, that we are on the right track, or that something is about to happen. Still others say that when we have this experience, our DNA is being activated on some level – whatever that means. It all comes down to the same thing: this experience is what it feels like it is – a call to pay attention to what may be happening beneath the surface of reality – on what we might call a “spiritual” level.

Generally speaking, this phenomenon is considered to be a spiritual “wake-up” call. It tends to occur when one is just where you describe yourself to be: not thinking much about spiritual matters, but very ready to embark on a conscious spiritual path. It’s a call to start thinking more deeply about life, and to become more aware of yourself as a spiritual being. (It appears to be quite effective!)

Some say these numbers are sort of a code that was programmed into our subconscious before we were born, and that it was set to “go off” at a certain time. When it does, the nagging feeling we have is our own memory or subconscious trying to tell us that there is a deeper meaning hidden in this experience. It is designed to lead us to question the nature of “reality,” and grow conscious of the higher goals we set for ourselves before we incarnated.

If we do wake up spiritually and begin a conscious spiritual journey, we will usually stop having this experience. This waking up may be a subtle change, but more often, it’s a major shift in one’s whole thinking and life direction. At this point, many people begin actively exploring spiritual matters for the first time, and with a passion. They may change careers, leave a stale marriage, totally overhaul their personal lives, or make other big changes. In the wake of such an awakening, they are transformed on every level. This is what happened to me: when I woke up and embraced a conscious spiritual journey with gusto, the “wake-up” calls stopped. I presume/hope this is because I was awake!

So when you see these number sequences, stop and wonder for a moment at the strangeness of this synchronicity, and what it must mean about the deeper, hidden nature of life. Whether you think angels, loved ones in Spirit or some other force is behind these experiences isn’t the point: the important thing is to note that something is trying to tell you something, and it wants you to stop and get quiet and receptive enough to really hear it, for then it can guide you wherever you personally need to go.

– Soul Arcanum

How Can She Pick Herself Up and Turn Her Whole Life Around?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am 23-year-old woman who is currently pregnant. I don’t have a steady boyfriend at present; the man who fathered my baby is good for nothing. I do have a sweet little girl whom I love very much. Her father is taking care of her even though she is staying with my mother. I’m living a very low life. I have too many friends I cannot trust, and I love drinking alcohol. Part of me wants to change to become a better person, but the other part still wants to live this loose life. I don’t know how I am going to change. Every time I enter a new relationship, job, make new friends, etc., everything seems to go awry. I feel like I’m doomed. I was involved in a car crash in January of 1997, and my boyfriend at that time did not even come to the hospital. He didn’t care if I was alive or dead! Every man seems to just not care after they get what they want, which is to take me to bed. I have done many things I am not proud of. Is it normal that at the tender age of 23, I have slept with more than 250 men? Soul Arcanum, I really need your help. Can you give me advice on how to turn my life around?
T.

Dear T.:

While I’m going to focus this column on helping YOU, I have to say a word here about your innocent little girl and unborn child. Unless you want your children to grow up and be just like you and suffer the same way you’re suffering, you need to get a grip on yourself NOW. The part of you that wants something better than this is going to have to SLAY that part of you that wants to continue living a “loose life,” as you put it. You would protect your daughter with your very life, so lay down the life of that foolish, misguided teenager inside you, and step with all of your being toward the strong, wise mother you know you can be.

Now that I’ve said that, I can offer you my compassion. It’s clear to me that you’re carrying a lot of baggage from your childhood and even before that (from past lives). I’m shown that you have been an alcoholic in several past lives, and a prostitute in at least one lifetime. In that life, you did it to survive, but in this life, you have so many more choices. So while it may not seem “normal” to be so promiscuous, for you it hasn’t necessarily been strange. Unless you want to keep this up for all eternity, however, you’re going to have to consciously choose to change. Acknowledge that you have done the best you could, forgive yourself for those things you’re not proud of, then move on! Forget about the past and focus everything you have on who you want to be and how you want to live.

The main thing you must learn is how to say NO to things that will destroy your well-being and happiness. You have thus far said yes to everything and everyone that comes your way. Someone offers you alcohol/drugs? Yes! Someone asks you to go to bed with them? Yes!

The reason you say yes is because you’re desperate for love. You keep trying to be what you think others want you to be in order to fill that empty, achy, lonely feeling in your heart, but you’re waking up to the truth that what you’ve been getting by taking this approach is not love at all, and only leaves you feeling worse in the end. Disrespecting yourself as you have will only lead others to use you, for if you don’t respect yourself, why should they? There are all sorts of users and abusers in the world, and you have become a magnet for them. You thus far have just not loved yourself enough to protect yourself and to demand more and better from life and people.

As you do love your daughter that much, she is actually going to help you change your life. Through mothering your daughter, you have come to know the sort of love you need to feel for yourself. Now you can go back and parent yourself into feeling like you deserve more than what you’ve been putting up with. I want you to start treating yourself the way you’d want your daughter to be treated by herself and by others. If some stranger wanted to use her and take her to bed, what would you want her to do? If you saw her throwing away her mind, body and spirit on alcohol, junkie friends and unsafe sex, what would you want her to do? (That is what you should do!)

Find a minister or an energy healer and get some help with reconnecting with the Divine,  reclaiming your personal power, and detoxing on every level. (A church is probably best, as it would be a good source of free or inexpensive help.) I also want you to start attending church so that you can meet a higher quality of people. Start befriending older WOMEN there; reach out for help from women who are solid and strong and won’t let you make excuses when that weaker side of you wants to go on ruining your life. I’m sure there are also social service agencies where you can get connected with other women who are sincerely trying to improve their lives as well. You need true friends now. You need to ask for help and start helping others too. There are lots of young single mothers out there – reach out and work together!

I know your heart is aching for someone to truly care for you, and that this is driving much of your self-destructive behavior. What you need to get from this column is that your relationships with others will mirror your relationship to yourself. If you are self-destructive in your thinking and habits, others will be abusive toward you. If you respect yourself and take great care of yourself, others will respect you and want to take care of you similarly. Respecting yourself here means taking good care of your body (not abusing drugs or alcohol and not giving yourself sexually to any guy who smiles at you). It means getting rid of the people in your life who are behaving in ways you neither admire nor want to emulate. It means cleaning up your act and putting your heart and soul into becoming the kind of woman and mother you most want to be. The harder you work at it, the more you will respect yourself, and the better your life will get.

You can initiate this personal transformation by detoxing on a physical level immediately. I know you’re pregnant, so I don’t want you to do anything drastic like fasting or taking unusual supplements, etc. Just cut out all the garbage: no alcohol, no drugs, no junk food. Eat fruit and vegetables. Look to natural foods for nourishment. Given what you’re putting into your body, it’s no wonder you’re miserable. (If you need help with addiction, GET IT! There is so much free help available out there.)

Then you’ll feel strong enough to detox on an emotional and mental level by getting rid of those users and abusers and doing whatever else you need to do to move forward with your life. You should also take some time to thank the dickens out of your mom and anyone else who has really been there for you. She can and will help you if you are sincere in your efforts to change your life. She has been waiting for you to wake up. You have broken her heart time and time again; it’s time for you to actively begin to try to undo all that hurt you’ve caused. She’s on your side!

You have a loving mother, a sweet child, and a new baby on the way. You have so much to turn your life around for. Think of your children and set a good example, for they are learning how to be in the world by watching you.

In a nutshell: demand more of yourself and the people you let into your world, and you will turn your life around. The time is NOW my friend; I’m sending prayers for strength your way.

– Soul Arcanum

Conquering Fear with Faith

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

I want to be less fearful. I have big fears of the unknown, such as if this bill can get paid, if I can make enough to pay for what we need and so on. These fears take me over at times. I want to work with the law of attraction to create what I want in my life, and I know that fear is a big stumbling block for me. I keep telling myself I am okay and this seems to help. Do you have any advice for me?
-T.

Dear T.:

On a practical level, there is a lot you can do to align a smooth, carefree journey through life. There are some key differences between folks who always seem to be stressed and those who are usually calm and carefree. For example, people who rarely get anxious tend to plan ahead, stay organized, and create cushions in their lives so they don’t have to worry.

Financially, a cushion may be a savings account or a sum of money in your checking account that you only dip into when there’s an emergency. If you regularly have to meet work or school deadlines, you can develop the habit of moving them up on yourself so if something comes up, you won’t have to stress because you’ll have a buffer period to handle whatever has to be done. The more you create cushions throughout your life, the easier everything will seem.

Spiritually speaking, faith is something that each person must develop on their own. However, I can tell you how I changed from being just as anxiety-ridden as you are to having unshakable faith, and I can point you toward some metaphysical habits that will help you to conquer your own fears.

Some twenty years ago when my psychic doors blew open with my first pregnancy, I was a metaphysical mess! I was depressed, disempowered and riddled with anxieties. I was so anxious I developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

My vibration was very low because I was so miserable and anxious, so when my psychic senses suddenly turned on, I attracted encounters with low level astral entities, which naturally just scared me even more. I’ve since learned that everyone who has a low vibration due to fear, anger or other negative emotions is a magnet for low level astral entities; most just don’t know it because they’re not psychically sensitive enough to perceive them.

Needless to say, I was very motivated to find a way to “protect” myself and leave those dark experiences behind. That’s when I learned about the power and wisdom of turning up our inner light. This is the first step in shifting to a higher level of experience whether we want to escape something scary or painful or we want to empower ourselves to manifest positive changes in our lives.

To turn up your inner light, you have to focus upon, cultivate and exude the qualities of your higher self. This will lift you above the fears and desires of the ego and connect you with a sense of faith and peace. You have to make a conscious choice to foster feelings of love, peace, compassion and understanding, and to flow those feelings out to other beings in this world and beyond.

When we do this, our bright inner light erases any shadows around us just like the darkness in a room disappears when we flip on a light switch. This is the ultimate in terms of psychic protection, personal healing and empowerment, for once we have a high vibration, we naturally attract people and situations of a higher nature, and can manifest whatever we want in our lives with relative ease.

As my vibration rose, my energy became a match for learning about the law of attraction, and from there things just got better and better. In studying the law of attraction and consciously experimenting with it, I received all sorts of signs, synchronicities and other evidence that we do indeed create our own realities.

This knowing is hugely comforting, for it means that we are not at the mercy of the whims of fate: we have control over what we manifest! Further, since what we focus upon expands in our lives, worrying about the future is foolish and counter-productive. This is a huge key to conquering fear with faith. Once you realize you have control, you just need to exercise it.

It’s also natural to become less anxious as we learn and grow, for with experience comes wisdom. If you look back on your own past, some truths should leap out at you. First, even though some bad things happened, given enough time they always worked out. No matter what you went through, you did eventually figure it out, make it happen, handle it, find a way through, heal, forgive, get over it, survive, go on to something better, etc. Guess what? That isn’t going to change – things will keep working out in the future just as they did in the past. Time will continue to heal all wounds.

Second, you’ll realize how self-defeating it is to worry about what might happen in the future because you desire to be happy, for in choosing to worry right now about what may or may not happen later, you are sacrificing your happiness up front. Further, you’re disempowering yourself from creating what you want in your life.

I know that understanding this doesn’t mean it will be easy to shed an entrenched worry habit, but part of our spiritual journey includes developing the wisdom and self-discipline to control our thoughts. Worrying is like poking a stick in an open wound: it hurts you in the moment and creates more pain and problems the more you do it. You may have a long standing habit of unconsciously poking at that wound, but the only way to change your course of experience is to get more conscious of your habits and summon the resolve to CHANGE.

Since what we focus upon expands in our lives, it doesn’t do any good to focus on quitting something or giving it up, so I’m going to offer you things you can do INSTEAD of worrying. Whenever you feel anxiety creeping in, get this list out and get busy!

*First, take whatever practical steps you can to align with what you want, especially creating those cushions I mentioned above.

*Read spiritual books and articles. Reading about the law of attraction will remind you of your personal power to create what you want in your life and shift you into a higher vibration. A few pages every day can make a huge difference. Also, put what you learn to good use by experimenting, for the more amazing things you manifest, the deeper your faith will be in your own power to create what you desire.

*Reading about other spiritual subjects like near-death experiences and reincarnation will reinforce your understanding that everything happens for a good reason. It will also soften your worst fears. For example, most likely the worst thing you can imagine is your own death or the death of a loved one. When you truly know and believe that death isn’t terrible at all – that it’s just a temporal change of state – your anxiety will dissipate.

*Resolve to surround yourself with positive people, experiences and energies. Create a soothing environment for yourself. If someone or something makes you anxious, distance yourself and focus on situations that feel good. Seek out uplifting people, positive films and TV shows, beautiful art, uplifting stories, etc.

The more you consciously cultivate faith, the better your life will get, for your vibration will rise and empower you to manifest all sorts of wonderful blessings, changes and opportunities.

 

Why Doesn’t Doc have Paranormal Experiences Too?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am a psychotherapist but have never believed in the spiritual world until I had a patient who experienced past lives. I attended a seminar with Dr. Brian Weiss and am impressed with the reports of his clients. Personally, however, I have never felt or encountered anything supernatural, and I’m curious as to why that is.
Frieda

Dear Frieda:

While I’ve been deeply blessed with all sorts of amazing spiritual experiences, it wasn’t always this way for me, which means that you can go from living an ordinary life to one that is rich with magic. Let me explain:

While most people report never having had a psychic or paranormal experience, I think it would be more accurate to say that they haven’t had any that they can consciously recall. Most (if not all) small children do have such experiences. In fact, little kids are known for sensing monsters under the bed and having so-called imaginary friends. Though adults may not recognize what they’re talking about, many relay memories from past lives, communicate telepathically with their caregivers, have premonitory dreams and encounter spiritual beings.

The manner in which adults handle such experiences greatly impacts a child’s openness to similar experiences in the future. When children are made to feel wrong, foolish or frightened, they learn to filter out perceptions that could bring further emotional pain. Strange experiences aside, over time, we’re all trained to focus more on physical reality and to ignore the magical fantasies of our imaginations. So instead of asking why everyone doesn’t have paranormal experiences, maybe we should ask why some people do.

Of course, just as some people are naturally artistic or athletic, there are some people who are born sensitives, and they tend to have unusual experiences simply because they can sense things that others can’t. For example, they may consciously encounter a ghost where another person may feel uneasy or remain totally oblivious.

Additionally, outside influences do factor in here. Someone who lives in a haunted house is more likely to encounter a spirit than someone who does not, and someone who works in hospice care is more likely to have an amazing spiritual experience than a plumber or a construction worker.

Just as there are some people who have impaired hearing and vision, there are plenty of people in the world who may never have a paranormal experience simply because they aren’t equipped to pick up on subtle input. At the same time, however, there are many people who do have the innate ability who block their conscious awareness of certain phenomena because they were trained to do so as children or because they actively disbelieve in such things or have simply never given them much thought.

Regarding the relationship between belief and paranormal experiences, we are all more or less caught in a Catch-22: we don’t believe in things we’ve never experienced, and we rarely experience things we don’t believe in. Research has shown that the expectations of the observer affect the outcome of the experiment, so when it comes to paranormal phenomena, if we expect something to happen, it tends to happen, and if we expect nothing to happen, that is what tends to occur. Thus some lives are full of magic and spirit while others are just routine.

It is only after something startling or mind blowing occurs that most people wake up to a whole new realm of possibility. Some people begin to awaken after experimentation with drugs reveals new modes of perception; others may awaken with the tragic death of a loved one or some other shock to the psyche. It is at these rare junctures when something anomalous to an individual’s belief system breaks through that dramatic changes in their personal beliefs may take place.

This is what happened to me: when my first love died, all sorts of incredible things happened that tore my existing belief system down to the foundation. I had never questioned the nature of reality until then, but after that it seemed like anything was possible, which left me wide open to all sorts of other phenomena. I was full of wonder and questions, which naturally led to new discoveries.

When people are launched on a spiritual journey by some incredible event, they tend to do things that encourage further strange events. By asking deep questions and following their curiosity off the beaten path, they may make startling new discoveries. They may read lots of spiritual material, and by giving their attention to these subjects, the law of attraction draws more related experiences their way. Many take up meditation and other spiritual practices, through which they become psychically sensitive, which opens up new realms of spiritual experience.

Of course, not everyone who has a mind blowing experience is launched on a powerful spiritual path. When people don’t experience anything mind blowing until later in life, it’s harder to integrate experiences that threaten to shatter their existing beliefs. They may then reject strange experiences as false, or assume that their mind is playing tricks on them when something doesn’t fit with what they’ve already decided to be possible.

Many people filter the paranormal experiences they do have from their conscious memory because their egos can’t handle all the inner rearranging that would have to take place to integrate them. This means that we may have had any number of amazing experiences that we can’t consciously remember. We all filter our memories and experiences in light of our beliefs and feelings, and through hypnotic regression, may discover all sorts of buried memories both paranormal and mundane that were too uncomfortable for us to maintain conscious awareness of.

So what can you do to encourage your own experience?

First, tell the Universe wholeheartedly that you want to have a mind blowing paranormal experience. State that you want it to be clear and unquestionable, that you’re ready to open your mind to new possibilities in light of such an experience, and that you’d like it to be positive, uplifting or beneficial.

Read up on such matters and immerse yourself in these ideas. Explore others’ experiences and let your intuition guide you. Listen within more. Allow your imagination to run wild. (The more grounded we are in the physical, the harder it is to perceive other planes.) Let go of needing to be right about anything, and instead, make your goal to discover something new.

Begin a regular meditation practice. This will lead to greater psychic sensitivity and a higher threshold of conscious awareness while in an altered state. Also, begin to work with the many methods available for remembering your dreams, for often initial psychic experiences occur in dreams. Another great way to have a really amazing experience is to begin working with techniques to have an out of body experience. You must be devoted and patient, however – it can take months to consciously get out of body for the first time.

If none of this works, you might try sleep deprivation. As your mind grows too tired to rigidly maintain its normal filters, you may begin to see or hear things that others cannot. Since you’re a trained therapist, you may be tempted to label these hallucinations, but as someone who has seen such things both when sleep deprived and not, I can assure you that they are as real as any paranormal phenomena. This is not the most pleasant way to go, but it may spark the breakthrough you need to open your belief system to new realms of possibility.

– Soul Arcanum

How Can We Maintain Positive Thinking to Manifest Blessings?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I know you write a lot about the power of positive thinking and how we manifest our own experiences via our habitual thoughts. My question is how do you remain focused on positive thoughts, and stay away from negative ones? When I can stay positive, the Universe does generally provide me with positive experiences, but when the old negative pattern starts, the Universe also obliges, and I experience not so positive things. I find it hard to remain positive. How do you do it? I really hope you can help me.
Linda

Dear Linda:

This is a very deep spiritual question related to how we interpret our experiences and how we take life’s challenges and transform them into blessings. I believe this is the true meaning of alchemy; instead of turning lead into gold, however, we’re turning so-called negatives into positives.

You already know that you’re creating your reality with your thoughts, and how important it is to think positively, so you have a lot going for you already. Now all you need to do is to begin to develop constructive mental habits. In the words of the great metaphysician William James:

“Refuse to express a passion, and it dies. Count ten before venting your anger, and its occasion seems ridiculous. Whistling to keep up courage is no mere figure of speech. On the other hand, sit all day in a moping posture, sigh, and reply to everything with a dismal voice, and your melancholy lingers. There is no more valuable precept in moral education than this, as all who have experience know: if we wish to conquer emotional tendencies in ourselves, we must assiduously, and in the first instance, cold-bloodedly, go through the outward movements of those contrary dispositions we prefer to cultivate. Smooth the brow, brighten the eye, contract the dorsal rather than the ventral aspect of the frame, and speak in a major key, pass the genial compliment, and your heart must be frigid indeed if it does not gradually thaw.”

If you pretend to be a “positive person” whether you feel positive or not, eventually, you will become a positive person. The more you can express gratitude for life, God and the people you meet, the more gratitude will become a part of your nature, and gratitude is the emotion of the highest vibration. It is synonymous with “pure, positive energy.”

I therefore encourage you to incorporate gratitude exercises in your daily experience. You might try keeping a gratitude journal, making gratitude lists or writing about all the people who have ever inspired or supported or touched you. You could write about aspects of your body, home, life or job that you do like. You could list the good qualities you can find about that coworker who is driving you crazy. There are endless ways to weave gratitude into your routine. Every morning and every night, spend ten minutes on a gratitude exercise. There is a GREAT one available in the Spiritual Toolbox at Soul Arcanum. It’s called Instant Good Mood, is only seven minutes long, and is geared toward helping you find all sorts of things to feel grateful for.

You can also simply stop whenever you notice a negative emotion and ask yourself what is good right at that moment. When I ask myself this question on this chilly autumn morning, I realize that I’m grateful that I have a warm home. (My heat works every time I turn it on – isn’t that wonderful?) I have a nice hot cup of tea sitting on my desk. My computer is working wonderfully, as it always does. (I haven’t always been so blessed!) I have a laundry room piled high with laundry, but lucky for me, my washing machine and dryer are working great. They’re washing and drying the clothes for me while I work at the computer. While my schedule is packed from 5:30 a.m. until 9:00 p.m. tonight, I’m fortunate that I’m healthy enough to keep up with it.

As you can imagine, I could go on and on. Now, this paragraph could have been as negative as it is positive. Thinking positively is simply a matter of looking for blessings and finding them, even when they’re in disguise.

If you’re feeling very low and can’t find the bright side, it’s best to take a break from whatever is getting you down and just play hooky. Do something pleasurable or fun like getting a massage, making love, taking a nap or going to the movies. Cleaning the house is very “clearing” for many people. If you’re feeling heavy, start “feng shuing” all the clutter and scrubbing the surfaces in your environment, and you’ll be feeling better before you know it. After you’ve gotten away from that heavy negative energy, you’ll find it much easier to consciously pivot your way to a more positive frame of mind.

It also helps to study people who are masters at finding opportunities disguised as problems or setbacks. Our public libraries are full of biographies about people who overcame challenges much bigger than any we will ever face. In every recession or depression or messed up state of affairs, while the majority is struggling and floundering, there are some who prosper. These are the positively focused individuals who are always on a hunt for blessings in disguise. It applies not only to business and economics, but to every aspect of our lives: where there is a problem, there is an opportunity. Instead of being a “problem-solver” (which is exhausting), study those people, and become an opportunity finder/creator.

Above all, Linda, do NOT beat yourself up for having negative thoughts. This will only lead you on a downward spiral. We all struggle to remain positive. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be incarnated as humans here on earth; we’d be teaching personal development seminars in heaven or something. You can’t get rid of negative thoughts, worries and fears by pushing against them; the best way to free yourself is to simply embrace their opposite. Think of a negative thought as being like a shadow: you can attack it, beat at it, push against it, etc., and you won’t have done a thing to it in the end, except perhaps added your own shadow to it. Instead of trying to fight it, simply “turn on the light,” and it will vanish. Shadows can’t exist in the presence of light.

So to become “less negative,” visualize yourself “more positive.” Paste a smile on your face, talk in a cheerful voice, speak positive words. Tell yourself and others that you’re a positive person every chance you get. Your subconscious will believe you and make it true.

Similarly, when you catch yourself worrying about something, pivot away from what you fear will happen, and ask yourself what it is you truly desire. If you’re worried about your husband making it home safe in a snowstorm, instead of visualizing him in a car wreck, visualize what you truly desire: him walking in the door, safe and sound. It’s the same desire; the first thought is negative, the second is positive. If your brain must work on something, give it something “healthy” to chew on.

Emotions will grow stronger and deeper with repetition. The more we practice being positive, the more positive we will become by nature, and the easier it will become to remain so. (Isn’t that lovely?) This is why it’s so important to nip negative thinking in the bud, and to be vigilantly working on mastering our thoughts.

There are countless programs designed to help you manifest your dreams through positive thinking available on the Internet. All of the recordings in Soul Arcanum’s Spiritual Toolbox are designed to take you into a powerful state of consciousness and align you with positive thinking and positive energy so you can create whatever you want in your life. Whenever you find yourself struggling, all you have to do is set aside a few minutes to advantage of these great tools.

May you take great pleasure in your power as a boundless creator of whatever you desire!

– Soul Arcanum


How to Create a Positive Psychic Atmosphere


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I work in a small building where people who start off nice appear to change and act different in a nasty way. I found this site looking for a way to cleanse the building. This makes work in a small environment very difficult. What can I do?

Dolores

Dear Dolores:

We are all surrounded by unseen energies of various qualities. Though most of us aren’t conscious of it, our instincts are constantly tuning in to evaluate the energetic nature of other people and the psychic atmosphere. Many of us only take note of this when the psychic atmosphere is extreme in some way. For example, in a house that is “haunted,” the hair on the backs of our necks may stand up, or we may feel inexplicably terrified and compelled to flee. At the other end of the spectrum, we may enter a place of very positive psychic atmosphere such as a church or a temple and immediately feel peaceful and uplifted.

There is a direct link between the people who inhabit a space and the atmosphere there, for it is our thoughts and feelings that create that atmosphere. You seem to have assumed that it is the physical place that is causing people to grow negative, but it could be that one or more of the people you work with are the real source of this negativity. Just as it only takes one person creating a foul smell and stink up a space for everyone, it only takes one strongly negative individual to poison the psychic atmosphere. Of course, if the business you work for has created a stressful, antagonistic work environment, the simplest way to remedy this negativity is to take practical measures to reduce employee stress and frustration.

Here’s the good news and the bad news: emotional energy is contagious. (You’ve clearly noticed this already.) This means that negative energy can affect everyone present, but it also means that positive energy can spread too. To remedy negativity psychic energy, we have to generate positive psychic energy.

Since the atmosphere and the people who inhabit the space are intrinsically linked, I recommend you focus both on cleansing the location and infusing it with positive vibes, and on bringing out the best in your coworkers. Since there are number of individuals involved here, the more people you can persuade to join with you in these efforts, the more power you will all wield.

There are all sorts of different rituals you can employ for cleansing the location. The key elements will include cleansing the physical space and the objects in it, and also cleansing the atmosphere with something like smoke, as in smudging. As part of this process, you might try the old folk remedy of hanging up garlic all over the place overnight, and then burning the garlic the next day.

The actual ritual you employ is not as important as your focus and intention: you are in essence energetically healing the atmosphere of negativity. Following this cleansing, you should bless the space and fill it with the energies you desire. Go through the whole space cleansing it, and then go through it again and bless it. The actual ritual you employ is not as important as your focus and intention: you are in essence energetically healing the atmosphere of negativity. Following this cleansing, you should bless the space and fill it with the energies you desire. Go through the whole space cleansing it, and then go through it again and bless it. For an example of how you might go about this, see Clearing a Space of Negative Energy.

Once you’ve done these things, bring in elements that promote positive energy. Playing music that feels uplifting and positive can have a dramatic impact. Make sure the space is with bright with light – preferably natural sunlight – and that the color scheme is pleasant and uplifting. You could bring in crystals to enhance your energetic efforts. Definitely make sure the space smells good. Incense is great for this, but if that is impractical for some reason, you could try aromatherapy with a scent like lemon. Keeping the atmosphere fresh is not something you do once – it’s something you regularly.

Next, in order to evoke positive energy from your coworkers, you will have to work with the law of attraction. While it’s true that we can’t create in another person’s experience, we can lift ourselves into a vibration where we naturally attract a higher level of experience, which will either cause people who are negative to stay away from us or draw those people up to our vibration when they are around us.

This reminds me of one of my first highly sucessful manifesting adventures. I was on a road trip with a friend who was also into the law of attraction. When we went through customs to enter into Canada, my friend was on her cell phone. The customs agent took tremendous offense to this and was shockingly nasty to us. At first we were upset about this, but then we decided to pivot and focus on manifesting friendly, happy people from there on out. What followed was an incredible stream of people so friendly all we could do was laugh in astonishment. One after another, everyone we met from there on out went to extraordinary lengths to help us, and everyone was so cheerful it was like being in the “twilight zone.”

My point is that by consciously working with the law of attraction, you can either attract the sort of people you want to interact with or bring out the best in the people around you. Even really nasty characters smile, laugh and are kind sometimes. You can draw this out of them, but you have to stop focusing on what you don’t want – negativity – and start focusing on what you do want – happy, friendly, helpful coworkers.

I suggest you create some “spiritual Febreze” and use it on yourself as well as your work environment. Get a clean, empty spray bottle, distilled water, rubbing alcohol and an essential oil like lemon. Add a little alcohol to the water, and then add as much of the essential oil as it takes to create a pleasant scent. Next, charge this mixture with positive energy by calling to mind all the positive things you want to manifest. While you hold this mixture in your hands, channel the essence of that positive energy into the mixture. (If you’re unfamiliar with how to do this, you may want to study magickal spellwork in general.)

Every morning after you get out of the shower, spray yourself with this magic perfume and set your conscious intention for the day. It may go a little like this:

Universe, just as I carry this wonderful smell with me on my body, I will carry joy with me wherever I go. I will shine my inner light on any shadows I encounter, and bring out the best in others. I will greet everyone I meet with warmth and good humor, and will receive all sorts of blessings in return. As one who is connected to the stream of pure positive energy is more powerful than a thousand who are not, I look forward magically creating a wonderful atmosphere wherever I go. Fill my world with friendly, helpful, happy people! (This is just and example. You can set any intention you desire – the point is to set a CONSCIOUS intention for the day instead of taking whatever comes your way.)

If you also spray this “spiritual Febreze” around your work place every morning, you will infuse the atmosphere with its pleasant scent and positive vibration while at the same time encouraging everyone around you to unconsciously entrain to your positive vibration.

– Soul Arcanum


God’s Will and the Law of Attraction


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have been studying the Law of Attraction for a few years now. The more I read about the LOA, however, the more confused I get about how to relate to God and Spirit. Can I talk directly to God to help guide me using prayer? Or is manifesting more about having faith in my own divine creative power? Is it just ego (which is false) that desires things, so manifesting separates us from God, which would explain why we may manifest trials and tribulations? Should I just completely trust in God that I am where I’m supposed to be and not use ego to ask for anything? There are so many conflicting ideas out there! I have gone down strange karmic paths that didn’t prove helpful, but now I’ve come full circle. After losing my last job (which was a blessing and something I asked for and manifested), I applied for and was offered a perfect position in my field with a great salary, etc. Is it just ego that is asking for abundance and security, or did God intervene and offer me what I needed? Do I really know what I want and need anyway?

Sharon

Dear Sharon:

These are all wonderfully thought-provoking questions. I have to begin with my usual disclaimer, which is that no one can explain such profound matters with any certainty; I can only offer you my current perspective based on my own knowledge and experience.

To begin, I don’t view God as some patriarchal figure in the clouds who is carefully watching our every move. I view God as more like “the force” – that from which life and love and all that feels good to us flows. Just as everything in the physical Universe is constantly expanding and evolving, we are all on a journey that is carrying us into ever higher levels of wisdom and personal power. It’s like God was a tremendous fruit full of seeds of unfathomable potential that exploded and gave birth to all sorts of new life, thus creating the Universe, our souls – All That Is.

I like to view individual souls as cells in the body of God: we are all connected on this journey, and all part of something much greater than our individual selves. Scientists are beginning to realize that every cell in our bodies is in communication with every other cell, and that cells even hold memories. Like cells in a body, we are all separate and yet connected to each other. Cells have life spans, and they can divide to create new cells; similarly, our physical bodies have life spans and we can create new life. Like cells, we all hold both conscious personal awareness and subconscious wholistic awareness of God and the entire history of existence.

I view each one of us as a microscopic, mini-God. We were created “in God’s image” in that we have free will and the divine creative power to create as God created. We create new life, we create new art, and we create new worlds with the power of our minds. I believe that we do this for the sheer pleasure of it – that creating is to the human soul as imaginative play is to children.

When we take physical form here on Earth, we become enmeshed in physicality. Those of us currently incarnate in the physical are much like astronauts on a very long space exploration mission. In the beginning of the adventure (when we’re infants), we remember <q>home</q> and retain some of the awareness we had before we left. (This is why children often remember their past lives and the nature of the spirit world, and are more naturally psychic than most adults.) The longer we’re in space and the more we explore other planets, the harder it gets to remember what home was like. Many of us forget about home altogether, and are left with nothing more than a vague feeling-memory of a beautiful planet and how right and wonderful it felt on Earth. I view physical life as a big adventure we undertake for the sheer adventure and in the name of progress. Returning “home” is part of the journey, of course. Since God is LOVE, the more we align with divine love, the closer we grow toward reunion with Source.

Given the views I outline above, I don’t believe that “God” wants anything for us in particular, and I certainly don’t believe that God is going to anticipate our every need and desire or lay out a careful path for us to follow. I do, however, believe that our higher selves remain at “home” when we’re exploring, and that we are in constant communication with this source of guidance much like astronauts are in constant communication with mission control.

Our goals in life are to have big adventures, make important discoveries, and, as we learn from those experiences, to eventually find our way home to God. We are guided in all of this by our higher selves and helpful beings like spirit guides, which I collectively call “Spirit.” Spirit speaks to us through our hearts: we are directed to go in a certain direction through feelings of desire, interest, curiosity, longing, passion, etc.

At last we come to the answer to your questions: we are MEANT to follow our hearts! What we long to do is what we “should” do. It is by following our hearts that we end up finding the people we need to meet and experiencing whatever will be most powerful and meaningful for us. Our hearts are our GPS for the great adventure of life.

You brought up ego. Let’s say that what you think you want is to be rich and famous, so you exercise the law of attraction to manifest that, only to discover that it’s not all you expected it to be. This is how we all learn and evolve into greater wisdom: it is by getting what we think we want and not having it be wholly fulfilling that we refine our values and our ideas about what is truly meaningful and important in life. This means that it’s okay to want whatever we want and to use natural spiritual law to get it. If it doesn’t turn out to be as great as we hoped, then we will be the wiser for it and will go on to pursue experiences that are more fulfilling. There are no true mistakes here, for those experiences that are the hardest to bear also bless us with the greatest new wisdom.

As we evolve, it does seem like “ego” plays less of a role in what we manifest. This is because, as we evolve, we move into greater harmony with our higher selves and are better able to communicate with “mission control.” Once we have successfully manifested the things we onced longed for – the money, the house, the job, the relationship – we no longer feel the need explore those worlds of experience. At this point in our journey, we begin to yearn for experiences of Spirit/home, like love, peace, knowledge, wisdom, and the power to help others. We develop the wisdom to reach for these deeper, more fulfilling experiences not by denying ourselves what we think we want, but by getting what we think we want and thus satiating that desire and learning from that experience.

We all have as many lifetimes as we need to fulfill all of our desires and learn all we need to learn and have all the adventures we can imagine, so there is no rush to evolve. We can take our time, follow our hearts, and enjoy a circuitous, delightful, fun-filled journey back home. Since you’re already deep into this mission, you might as well happily explore all the worlds of experience that call to you. Just follow your heart: it knows just where you need to go next, and it will bring you safely back home when the time is right.

– Soul Arcanum


Can We Change our Destiny via the Law of Attraction?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Can you please explain the relationship between the pre-destined life contract we sign (the contract that states the specific things that are going to happen in the upcoming lifetime) and the Law of Attraction, especially when they contradict each other? I don’t have a clear understanding of how definite the contract we sign up for each lifetime is, so this is a tricky topic for me. For example, if part of my contract said that I was going to have an accident that caused me an injury in order to teach me lessons about appreciating the important things in life, could I avoid this accident by utilizing the Law of Attraction and avoiding negative thoughts? I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic! Thank you for creating such a wonderful site and sharing your wisdom.

Jessie

Dear Jessie:

While no one can answer this with any certainty, I am happy to share my own current understanding of how all of this works.

First, let’s address the idea that we sign some sort of “contract” before incarnating in the physical. While I’m sure you meant this metaphorically, it’s important to be clear that we don’t actually sign anything. I don’t even believe we “promise” anything, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with making a plan and then deciding that we would rather do things differently.

In my view, our “destiny” is like a blueprint for what we want to build and experience in life. This is not where our life lessons and challenges come in, for none of us would consciously choose things like being disabled or abused. Instead, this is where our wishes are fulfilled. For example, let’s say we meet someone in one life with whom we would love to have a romantic relationship, but for one reason or another, that is not possible. When planning a future life, we may set up a way to fulfill that wish, at which point it becomes part of our destiny. Similarly, we may wish to be a musician, to own our own business, to be free to travel the world – the possibilities are endless. These all go into our blueprints of the house/life we want to live in for the next incarnation. In order to fulfill mutual wishes like marrying someone or having a parent/child relationship with a particular soul, we make plans together with other individuals. These are “soul agreements.” While we may be aware of some things that we need to work on and generally intend to tackle those challenges, for the most part, I view destiny as a plan for fulfilling heartfelt wishes.

Fate is something altogether different. This is where karma comes in. If destiny is the blueprint we design for the life we want to live, fate is all the factors we can’t control that will influence how the house actually turns out. Fate is the bad weather that damages or delays the building, the builders who go bankrupt midway through construction, the workers who fail to show up or who do a crappy job, the neighbors who make dwelling in our dream house a living hell – you get the picture. We don’t choose our fate; we reap it as a result of past choices.

To understand where the law of attraction comes into play, we need to understand the difference between consciously building the life of our dreams versus manifesting from a subconscious level. It’s my understanding that, the more we evolve spiritually, the more conscious influence we gain over the course of our experience and HOW we learn the things we need to learn. This is similar to how things work in our educational system. For example, elementary school students have almost no say over what or how they learn; they are all taught the same subjects. In high school, students must take many of the same subjects, but they also get some “electives.” In college, students are free to choose their own “major,” which involves some requirements but also a lot of freedom regarding what they take, their personal schedule, their professors, etc. Finally, advanced (Ph.D.) students often design their own course of study based on their personal interests.

It’s my understanding that, as we progress through the spiritual education system commonly known as life, something similar happens. Beginning students have little conscious control over the details of their education, and they have a lot of limitations and supervision. Advanced students have more conscious control over the course of their experience and a great deal of freedom. This applies both to souls who are embodied and those who are planning their next incarnation. Beginning students are unconsciously pulled through the incarnation process much like objects are pulled to earth via gravity. Being more conscious, advanced souls have more input into how they will experience the things they need to experience, so for them, destiny plays a stronger role.

This is where the law of attraction comes into play. As we evolve spiritually, we are naturally led to conscious awareness and understanding of natural spiritual law. We also become conscious of the guidance of our higher selves, which is the part of us that planned our “destiny” for this lifetime. Once we are able to consciously channel our higher selves, we gain the power to change our blueprint/destiny as we go along!

As we all have free will, we can choose to fulfill our blueprints/destinies or not. The more spiritually conscious and aware we are, the more we can make such decisions wisely. If we are conscious of our destiny/blueprint, we are more likely to end up with a house that matches our original plan for this lifetime. If we exercise our free will without the wisdom of conscious awareness, we may end up with a house that falls down. If we exercise our free will and change our blueprint with the wisdom of conscious awareness, we may end up with a house that is even better than our original plan. This is why it is so powerful to meditate and learn how to “hear” the wisdom of our higher selves.

The more conscious and aware we are, the more able we are to learn in easy, pleasant ways, and the less we have to go through dramatic, difficult experiences like the accident you describe. This doesn’t mean we can always escape fate/karma any more than someone building a house can ensure a perfectly smooth experience, for there are just too many factors involved. Karma is like a crazy boomerang; we are constantly whipping boomerangs out there with every choice we make. If we are paying attention, we may be able to duck a nasty boomerang when it returns, but sometimes those boomerangs seem to come out of nowhere. Destiny is far easier to sense or pick up on than karma, because our destinies were consciously chosen by use before we incarnated, whereas karma is beyond our conscious control; it is simply a natural law that is constantly in motion.

The higher our state of conscious awareness, the more adept we become at working with the law of attraction. This doesn’t mean we can control and influence EVERYTHING; it just means we have more influence than we did before. Our job is to find that tricky balance between exercising our divine creative power and making peace with fate/whatever happens. Of course, we can always strive to create good karma for the future through kindness, service to others, etc., for what we send out is sure to eventually come back to us.

– Soul Arcanum


To Prosper, Get Grounded


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC.All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

The other day, a friend introduced me to a woman who is a psychic and a healer, and for about 45 minutes, I told her about my long history of money and employment problems. Just before we were interrupted and our conversation abruptly ended, she told me that she felt I really need to get “grounded.” I’ve been puzzling over this comment ever since. Can you please explain what it means to be grounded and how it could possibly relate to money problems?

Shaundra

Dear Shaundra:

In a way, getting “grounded” is the opposite of getting “high.” People who aren’t grounded are spaced out and living in a fantasy world in their heads. People who ARE grounded are in touch with “reality,” fully present, and ready to do whatever needs to be done in order to stay on track with creating what they want in their lives.

Though we tend to forget it, we are all part of nature. In order to thrive in this dimension, we have to embrace and work with the physical, not disconnect from it. Unfortunately, it’s easy to get ungrounded these days, for we no longer live close to the earth. Instead of growing vegetables and chopping wood, most of us sit in front of a computer all day, after which we may watch television for a few hours, talk on the phone, or play with our iPads. In earlier times, we all had dirt under our fingernails (and everywhere else), we hunted and foraged for food, we spent our days in the sun and our nights under the stars. Some of us no longer spend even a tiny fraction of our time out of doors, which naturally causes us to become ungrounded. In addition to causing us to live in our heads, all of these cells phones, computers, and other electronic equipment surround us with electromagnetic fields. Some scientists estimate that we are now exposed to 100 million times more EMF radiation every day than our grandparents were. Instead of entraining to the frequencies of the earth, we entrain to the electrocmagnetic fields of these electronic devices, which creates grounding problems.

Everyone on a conscious spiritual path is dealing with this grounding issue either consciously or subconsciously because as we evolve, we naturally rise in vibration. At some point, instead of having to stretch to get out of the body, we have to make more of an effort to stay in it. Being grounded isn’t always preferable to being ungrounded, however. For example, if we are trying to channel divine guidance or communicate with departed spirits, we don’t want to be grounded in this dimension, we want to be able to get BEYOND this world. The key is to learn how to consciously transcend the physical for specific aims, and then bring ourselves back down to earth afterward.

The more ungrounded we become, the harder it gets to make things happen in the physical. Following are some symptoms of being grounded versus ungrounded.

  • Grounded: feeling calm and taking things one step at a time
  • Ungrounded: feeling restless or overwhelmed and not knowing what to do next
  • Grounded: buckling down and doing what needs to be done
  • Ungrounded: avoiding or procrastinating by living in worries or fantasies
  • Grounded: being organized and on top of things
  • Ungrounded: being disorganized, losing things and forgetting appointments and obligations
  • Grounded: feeling secure, confident and centered
  • Ungrounded: feeling anxious, dreamy or confused
  • Grounded: having your life run smoothly for the most part
  • Ungrounded: dealing with constant problems and irritations
  • Grounded: knowing how much money you have and being able to pay your monthly bills
  • Ungrounded: not knowing how much is in your accounts, how much debt you have, and experiencing regular shortages
  • Grounded: spending money on things you truly want and need
  • Ungrounded: spending money on things to get a temporary emotional boost
  • Grounded: feeling connected to your body and the earth, feeling strong and healthy
  • Ungrounded: feeling “out of it,” listless or hyper, and more in your head than in your body

As you might imagine based on the above list, being ungrounded strongly affects our ability to hold a job, create a successful business, and manifest general prosperity. Money represents real goods and services: the more goods we are able to produce and sell or the more services we are able to successfully perform, the more money we can make. To hold a job, we have to be grounded enough to be where we need to be on time, and to make whatever needs to happen, happen. If we’re constantly late because we can’t find our car keys, are spaced out in meetings, and are daydreaming instead of getting those reports in, we’re not likely to get stellar performance reviews.

I know a number of people who struggle with money and job problems who basically refuse to accept reality. They wish that making money wasn’t necessary in the first place, or that someone would just take care of them. They resent their employer for expecting them to actually do the work in order to get paid. (This sounds crazy when I write it here, but if you think about it, you probably know people like this too.) These folks are ungrounded: instead of dealing with reality effectively, they endlessly fantasize about how they wish things were or they focus on everything but what they need to focus on in order to align with success.

To get grounded, we need to reconnect with the earth and fully inhabit our physical bodies. When we get grounded, we live in balance with nature, which creates a sense of ease, peace and well-being. One way to get grounded is to literally get down to earth. A basic grounding ritual is to simply lie down with your belly on the ground and imagine energetic roots pushing down toward the earth’s core. It also works to sit in a yogic child’s pose, which means you’re on your knees with your arms stretched out on the ground ahead of you, your rear end back down between your heels, and your forehead on the ground. Whatever you choose to do, spend some time getting totally present right where you are. Drain off excess energy into the earth and consciously establish a strong sense of rootedness. Pay attention to your body, the feeling of the ground, your breath as it moves in and out, your muscles, your bones, your undeniable physicality.

Also, the more you take care of business, the more grounded you’ll get. If you’re disorganized, it’s time to clean up your world. Face and DEAL with reality. Pay your bills and take account of your finances. Get physical: work in your garden, clean out drawers and closets, scrub floors, mow the lawn, chop wood, cook a healthy meal, exercise. Eat heavy foods like nuts, meat and dairy as opposed to fruits and vegetables.

The above explains why being ungrounded can cause money problems. Of course, it is also possible that your money problems are karmic, rooted in past life experiences, or caused by something else entirely. I recommend you pursue a reading or hypnotherapy to discover what’s behind this pattern so you can break it and begin to manifest success and prosperity with greater ease.

– Soul Arcanum

She Always Wants What She Can’t Have


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have a very bad case of wanting what I can’t have, especially when it comes to relationships. I might have a crush on a guy until he becomes a real prospect, but then I begin to have doubts and get scared off. There are two men in my heart who were boyfriends in the past. I wasn’t serious about them when they pursued me and I easily let both of them go. When I thought about committing to them, I had all sorts of excuses for why they weren’t right for me. Years later, they are married fathers leading happy lives and I am single and going through tough times alone. I am now able to see how great they were and how my excuses for not getting serious about them were poor ones. I can’t tell you how hard I kick myself for letting them go. It’s truly eating me up, loving them deeply now and wanting them back and thinking how much more meaningful and fulfilling my life would be now had I been wiser before. I don’t want to be obsessive and stuck, which is how I feel, but I don’t want to stop loving them because even with all the painful regret, the love somehow feels better than indifference and the petty criticisms I had for them when I was dating them. I want to move on, stop the cycle of running from love, and be happy. Please help!

O.

Dear O:

Thank you for doing such a wonderful job of explaining your situation. What you describe is a common pattern; in fact, I know a number of people personally who do the same sort of thing. I’m sure you’re familiar with the term self-sabotage and the idea that many people unconsciously sabotage their efforts to create what they want in their lives. As a hypnotherapist, I see this a bit differently. While it’s true that people may do things that don’t appear to make sense, there is always a good reason why people do the things they do.

For example, Joann came to me at more than 200 pounds, deeply frustrated and desperate to find a way to lose weight. She had been on countless diets in her 47 years and had lost tens of pounds over and over again. Every time she got down to a size 8, she would start putting weight back on and regain all she had lost and more. In this way, she crept from around 145 pounds to over 200 despite years of dieting.

When I took her into a deep trance and asked her to go back to a significant event in her weight struggle, she at first relayed some upsetting but relatively minor experiences such as being embarrassed of her body as an adolescent and an incident in which she couldn’t fit into the jeans she was trying to borrow from a friend. These were just the outer layers of the onion, however. Eventually when asked to go back to the next significant event, she began to cry and hyperventilate. As I walked her through what she was experiencing, it came out that she had been raped at the age of 22; it was after this that she began to put on weight in an effort to feel less attractive and thus safer. She had been a size 8 at the time of the rape, and every time she became a size 8 again, she would grow very uncomfortable and immediately try to remedy what her subconscious perceived to be a problem by gaining weight again.

When I brought her out of trance, it was clear that a light bulb had come on: She now understood that she hadn’t been sabotaging herself – she had been trying to protect herself. The problem wasn’t a lack of self-love; it was the unfounded belief that if she didn’t carry extra weight, she would be hurt again. Once we healed and released the past trauma and put some empowering new beliefs in place, she found it relatively easy to lose the weight and keep it off.

Perhaps you’ve already figured out what this has to do with you. In case you haven’t, I’ll offer you a case that is a closer match to what you’re going through. Sarah came to me with a problem similar to yours: she was in her late thirties and had never been married because she too always wanted what she couldn’t have. She only wanted men who were unavailable for some reason. A couple of times, she did develop crushes on men who eventually returned her interest, but once she could have them, she didn’t want them anymore.

Regression therapy uncovered a number of possible causes for this pattern, such as her father abandoning the family when she was small, which led her mother into a depression from which she never recovered. From this she developed the belief that it’s never safe to give your heart completely to another human being.

More powerful, however, was the past life she relived in which her parents wanted her to marry a man of means but she chose to marry a penniless youth for love. Though he was handsome and romantic when he was courting her, her husband turned out to be a mean drunk who beat her and the children they had together. They lived in miserable destitution because he was too drunk to earn a living and would spend the money she was able to bring in on alcohol. She would sometimes see the man she had chosen NOT to marry with his wife, looking happy and prosperous, and think to herself that she had made a terrible choice. She died young in childbirth, and as she was dying, she was very worried about what would become of her young children with just their alcoholic father to depend upon. As she was dying, she was filled with regret and thoughts of how just one bad decision can ruin your life.

As a result of this traumatic past life experience, she was incredibly indecisive in this life: every time she was faced with a decision, she would get anxious and second-guess herself. She was also forever thinking that the grass must be greener on the other side. Though she consciously believed that she wanted to fall in love and get married, on a subconscious level, she did not believe this was a wise or safe thing to do. This led her to constantly chase after men she could never actually catch, and to run away from those who chased her. Within two years of resolving this past trauma and the limiting beliefs underlying her lack of fulfillment in love, she was happily married to the man of her dreams.

To resolve your pattern, first you must stop beating yourself up about it. Assume that your subconscious mind is trying to help you and that your job is to get your conscious and subconscious minds working in harmony. Imagine that your goal is to move a dresser: if your conscious mind is pushing forward on one side and your subconscious mind is pushing forward on the other side, you’re going to end up very frustrated. Now imagine that you can bring your subconscious mind over to your side to push WITH you: suddenly, things start to move forward with surprising ease.

I know of no faster way to totally transform your life than to begin to consciously work with your subconscious mind and higher self. Since every person’s story is unique, I encourage you to seek hypnotherapy so you can uncover and resolve whatever may be keeping you from a truly fulfilling experience in love.

Finally, it’s normal to continue to love people we’ve loved in the past, but that doesn’t mean we’re meant to be with them in the future. I think you’re hung up on these old boyfriends because they are symbols of the sort of man and relationship you want. Instead of lamenting the ones who got away, I encourage you to focus on the future and open your heart to meeting someone new.

Soul Arcanum