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How Do We Plan Future Incarnations?

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How Do We Plan Future Incarnations?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’ve always wondered something about reincarnation. How do we choose our next lives? What makes us choose to have some experiences and not others, for example? Do we choose our occupations? How we’ll look? How much planning do we get to do?
– Rachel

Dear Rachel:

Please note that this is only my understanding of reincarnation based upon what I’ve read. You may want to explore the works of Michael Newton, Ph.D.; he has hypnotically regressed many people to the period between lives and extensively explored these very issues.

It is mind boggling to ponder all of the factors that may come into play with planning a future life. Where does one begin? By way of metaphor, we might compare this to adopting a child. First I imagine you have to consider your options. What children (bodies) are available to you? Do you want a boy or a girl? Do you want a child (body) from a particular place or culture? The more particular you are in your needs, the harder it must be to find just the right fit.

Just as some prospective parents will be very careful to make sure that everything is just right before they adopt, others will be a bit more reckless and impatient. We each have our own unique nature, and it’s my understanding that we go about planning future lives much as we go about living this one.

Alternatively, we might compare incarnating in the physical like planning a trip or adventure. We will have certain things we feel drawn to exploring. For some of us, it may be most important that we have the opportunity to further develop and exercise certain skills, or to make a difference in the world. In this case, we may need to make sure we’re born to a family that will give us the opportunities to do this, or that we have a physical body capable of supporting our goals. Usually such a person will know from a fairly young age what their “higher purpose” is; they will feel drawn to this again and again, or display a gift related to it.

For others, these sorts of considerations may not be so important; they may not care so much what they do or where they do it so long as they can be with a certain special someone, or affect karmic healing of a particular personal issue. For these people, the body and life they choose will be largely determined by their ability to meet and create relationships with key individuals, or engage in certain experiences.

On top of all the personal desires and needs we must consider, we also all have “soul families” that we tend to incarnate with again and again. We meet up with them in the “afterlife,” where we plan future adventures with them. We can usually find members of our soul family in the people we are closest to of our own generation. The folks in generations before and after ours may be special to us, but probably are not of our own soul group. Grandparents we have shared a special sense of kinship to, however, are often individuals from our own soul family.

Thus our siblings, best friends, lovers and mates – these people are probably from our soul family, while our parents, children, aunts, uncles, etc., are probably not from our own soul family. While they may be very special to us, they are not necessarily of the same vibration or working on the same lessons and issues we are, and are thus probably not our first priorities when we are planning future lives and relationships.

Further, usually we will choose to have very different experiences from one lifetime to the next. We may be intrigued by the idea of incarnating in a different culture, for example, and living a very different life from the one we’ve just left behind. Again, imagine that you’re planning your next vacation: most people would choose to explore somewhere new, though a few might want to return to the same place they always go because it’s dear to them. If, however, someone very important to us has decided to incarnate into a certain family in China, we may very well say, “Hey, that sounds fine. I’ll do the same so I can be near you.”

Once we choose where we want to be and what will be most important to us in this next life, we may begin to explore our options for bodies. Sometimes we will accept bodies that may not be ideal in order to get other things that are more important. Sometimes we may accept bodies that have special challenges in order to develop other capacities. For example, if we strongly desire to explore physical power and energy, we may choose a very powerful, athletic body. If, however, we need to develop more on the inside – build up our intellects or our spiritual awareness – we may see a physically challenged body as an ideal catalyst for this sort of development. If we are strongly determined to be in a certain place or with a certain person, we may be more flexible about the particular body we get, so long as our main goals are assured.

I don’t want to imply that we are choosing all of this in a very conscious way, like sitting down with a brochure and a checklist. For most people, I imagine that planning a future life is sort of a dreamy process, and more one of emotional desire leading us naturally to fulfillment than mental planning. As we evolve in our spiritual development, however, we gain more conscious control over our lives – both this life and our future lives.

There is only so much control we have over the physical. If we choose a certain set of parents, for example, then we have to work with the DNA they have to offer. By way of gross example, we can’t decide to be born Asian to Caucasian parents. We have to work with the physical foundation available much as we work with the physical body we’ve been given after we’ve incarnated.

This is why spiritual development is so powerful and valuable; the more evolved we are, the more the soul is leading versus the body/ego. So a very advanced soul may have a lot of conscious control over a future life, as well as the ability to mold the physical body to the vibration of its soul energy. In a less evolved soul, the body/ego does more of the leading, and one feels more “at the mercy” of one’s instinctive reactions and physical reality. This only makes sense if you think about it. For example, if one gains the ability to consciously manifest healing in the body by working with natural spiritual law, then one has far more influence over the body than someone who has yet to evolve into this level of wisdom and understanding.

I do believe that whatever we focus upon, we manifest, and that this would be true of manifesting a new life. When we focus upon something with strong emotion, we naturally flow toward it. This is a natural process that leads us into new experiences, including new lives. So if there is something we greatly fear, we will probably manifest it. It’s interesting to ponder how when we experience something, we usually learn from it and eventually lose our fear of it. If there is something we greatly desire, we will probably manifest that too, and by fulfilling that desire, eventually come to a point where we don’t crave it anymore.

Perhaps the one exception to this rule is that of true love: It is the one force that never dwindles away, but instead can inspire us forever. This is the force that keeps us longing for and reuniting with our loved ones or “soul mates” lifetime after lifetime. Perhaps it is the unending nature of this force that leads us to consider true love to be so divine.

In summary, if you want to have more conscious control over your future lives, devote yourself to spiritual growth in this one. If you work through your personal issues, cultivate love and harmony in relationships, and stretch yourself into new potential, your efforts will be rewarded forevermore.

– Soul Arcanum

 

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God’s Will and the Law of Attraction

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on God’s Will and the Law of Attraction


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have been studying the Law of Attraction for a few years now. The more I read about the LOA, however, the more confused I get about how to relate to God and Spirit. Can I talk directly to God to help guide me using prayer? Or is manifesting more about having faith in my own divine creative power? Is it just ego (which is false) that desires things, so manifesting separates us from God, which would explain why we may manifest trials and tribulations? Should I just completely trust in God that I am where I’m supposed to be and not use ego to ask for anything? There are so many conflicting ideas out there! I have gone down strange karmic paths that didn’t prove helpful, but now I’ve come full circle. After losing my last job (which was a blessing and something I asked for and manifested), I applied for and was offered a perfect position in my field with a great salary, etc. Is it just ego that is asking for abundance and security, or did God intervene and offer me what I needed? Do I really know what I want and need anyway?

Sharon

Dear Sharon:

These are all wonderfully thought-provoking questions. I have to begin with my usual disclaimer, which is that no one can explain such profound matters with any certainty; I can only offer you my current perspective based on my own knowledge and experience.

To begin, I don’t view God as some patriarchal figure in the clouds who is carefully watching our every move. I view God as more like “the force” – that from which life and love and all that feels good to us flows. Just as everything in the physical Universe is constantly expanding and evolving, we are all on a journey that is carrying us into ever higher levels of wisdom and personal power. It’s like God was a tremendous fruit full of seeds of unfathomable potential that exploded and gave birth to all sorts of new life, thus creating the Universe, our souls – All That Is.

I like to view individual souls as cells in the body of God: we are all connected on this journey, and all part of something much greater than our individual selves. Scientists are beginning to realize that every cell in our bodies is in communication with every other cell, and that cells even hold memories. Like cells in a body, we are all separate and yet connected to each other. Cells have life spans, and they can divide to create new cells; similarly, our physical bodies have life spans and we can create new life. Like cells, we all hold both conscious personal awareness and subconscious wholistic awareness of God and the entire history of existence.

I view each one of us as a microscopic, mini-God. We were created “in God’s image” in that we have free will and the divine creative power to create as God created. We create new life, we create new art, and we create new worlds with the power of our minds. I believe that we do this for the sheer pleasure of it – that creating is to the human soul as imaginative play is to children.

When we take physical form here on Earth, we become enmeshed in physicality. Those of us currently incarnate in the physical are much like astronauts on a very long space exploration mission. In the beginning of the adventure (when we’re infants), we remember <q>home</q> and retain some of the awareness we had before we left. (This is why children often remember their past lives and the nature of the spirit world, and are more naturally psychic than most adults.) The longer we’re in space and the more we explore other planets, the harder it gets to remember what home was like. Many of us forget about home altogether, and are left with nothing more than a vague feeling-memory of a beautiful planet and how right and wonderful it felt on Earth. I view physical life as a big adventure we undertake for the sheer adventure and in the name of progress. Returning “home” is part of the journey, of course. Since God is LOVE, the more we align with divine love, the closer we grow toward reunion with Source.

Given the views I outline above, I don’t believe that “God” wants anything for us in particular, and I certainly don’t believe that God is going to anticipate our every need and desire or lay out a careful path for us to follow. I do, however, believe that our higher selves remain at “home” when we’re exploring, and that we are in constant communication with this source of guidance much like astronauts are in constant communication with mission control.

Our goals in life are to have big adventures, make important discoveries, and, as we learn from those experiences, to eventually find our way home to God. We are guided in all of this by our higher selves and helpful beings like spirit guides, which I collectively call “Spirit.” Spirit speaks to us through our hearts: we are directed to go in a certain direction through feelings of desire, interest, curiosity, longing, passion, etc.

At last we come to the answer to your questions: we are MEANT to follow our hearts! What we long to do is what we “should” do. It is by following our hearts that we end up finding the people we need to meet and experiencing whatever will be most powerful and meaningful for us. Our hearts are our GPS for the great adventure of life.

You brought up ego. Let’s say that what you think you want is to be rich and famous, so you exercise the law of attraction to manifest that, only to discover that it’s not all you expected it to be. This is how we all learn and evolve into greater wisdom: it is by getting what we think we want and not having it be wholly fulfilling that we refine our values and our ideas about what is truly meaningful and important in life. This means that it’s okay to want whatever we want and to use natural spiritual law to get it. If it doesn’t turn out to be as great as we hoped, then we will be the wiser for it and will go on to pursue experiences that are more fulfilling. There are no true mistakes here, for those experiences that are the hardest to bear also bless us with the greatest new wisdom.

As we evolve, it does seem like “ego” plays less of a role in what we manifest. This is because, as we evolve, we move into greater harmony with our higher selves and are better able to communicate with “mission control.” Once we have successfully manifested the things we onced longed for – the money, the house, the job, the relationship – we no longer feel the need explore those worlds of experience. At this point in our journey, we begin to yearn for experiences of Spirit/home, like love, peace, knowledge, wisdom, and the power to help others. We develop the wisdom to reach for these deeper, more fulfilling experiences not by denying ourselves what we think we want, but by getting what we think we want and thus satiating that desire and learning from that experience.

We all have as many lifetimes as we need to fulfill all of our desires and learn all we need to learn and have all the adventures we can imagine, so there is no rush to evolve. We can take our time, follow our hearts, and enjoy a circuitous, delightful, fun-filled journey back home. Since you’re already deep into this mission, you might as well happily explore all the worlds of experience that call to you. Just follow your heart: it knows just where you need to go next, and it will bring you safely back home when the time is right.

– Soul Arcanum


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Can We Change our Destiny via the Law of Attraction?

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Law of Attraction, Manifesting by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Can We Change our Destiny via the Law of Attraction?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Can you please explain the relationship between the pre-destined life contract we sign (the contract that states the specific things that are going to happen in the upcoming lifetime) and the Law of Attraction, especially when they contradict each other? I don’t have a clear understanding of how definite the contract we sign up for each lifetime is, so this is a tricky topic for me. For example, if part of my contract said that I was going to have an accident that caused me an injury in order to teach me lessons about appreciating the important things in life, could I avoid this accident by utilizing the Law of Attraction and avoiding negative thoughts? I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic! Thank you for creating such a wonderful site and sharing your wisdom.

Jessie

Dear Jessie:

While no one can answer this with any certainty, I am happy to share my own current understanding of how all of this works.

First, let’s address the idea that we sign some sort of “contract” before incarnating in the physical. While I’m sure you meant this metaphorically, it’s important to be clear that we don’t actually sign anything. I don’t even believe we “promise” anything, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with making a plan and then deciding that we would rather do things differently.

In my view, our “destiny” is like a blueprint for what we want to build and experience in life. This is not where our life lessons and challenges come in, for none of us would consciously choose things like being disabled or abused. Instead, this is where our wishes are fulfilled. For example, let’s say we meet someone in one life with whom we would love to have a romantic relationship, but for one reason or another, that is not possible. When planning a future life, we may set up a way to fulfill that wish, at which point it becomes part of our destiny. Similarly, we may wish to be a musician, to own our own business, to be free to travel the world – the possibilities are endless. These all go into our blueprints of the house/life we want to live in for the next incarnation. In order to fulfill mutual wishes like marrying someone or having a parent/child relationship with a particular soul, we make plans together with other individuals. These are “soul agreements.” While we may be aware of some things that we need to work on and generally intend to tackle those challenges, for the most part, I view destiny as a plan for fulfilling heartfelt wishes.

Fate is something altogether different. This is where karma comes in. If destiny is the blueprint we design for the life we want to live, fate is all the factors we can’t control that will influence how the house actually turns out. Fate is the bad weather that damages or delays the building, the builders who go bankrupt midway through construction, the workers who fail to show up or who do a crappy job, the neighbors who make dwelling in our dream house a living hell – you get the picture. We don’t choose our fate; we reap it as a result of past choices.

To understand where the law of attraction comes into play, we need to understand the difference between consciously building the life of our dreams versus manifesting from a subconscious level. It’s my understanding that, the more we evolve spiritually, the more conscious influence we gain over the course of our experience and HOW we learn the things we need to learn. This is similar to how things work in our educational system. For example, elementary school students have almost no say over what or how they learn; they are all taught the same subjects. In high school, students must take many of the same subjects, but they also get some “electives.” In college, students are free to choose their own “major,” which involves some requirements but also a lot of freedom regarding what they take, their personal schedule, their professors, etc. Finally, advanced (Ph.D.) students often design their own course of study based on their personal interests.

It’s my understanding that, as we progress through the spiritual education system commonly known as life, something similar happens. Beginning students have little conscious control over the details of their education, and they have a lot of limitations and supervision. Advanced students have more conscious control over the course of their experience and a great deal of freedom. This applies both to souls who are embodied and those who are planning their next incarnation. Beginning students are unconsciously pulled through the incarnation process much like objects are pulled to earth via gravity. Being more conscious, advanced souls have more input into how they will experience the things they need to experience, so for them, destiny plays a stronger role.

This is where the law of attraction comes into play. As we evolve spiritually, we are naturally led to conscious awareness and understanding of natural spiritual law. We also become conscious of the guidance of our higher selves, which is the part of us that planned our “destiny” for this lifetime. Once we are able to consciously channel our higher selves, we gain the power to change our blueprint/destiny as we go along!

As we all have free will, we can choose to fulfill our blueprints/destinies or not. The more spiritually conscious and aware we are, the more we can make such decisions wisely. If we are conscious of our destiny/blueprint, we are more likely to end up with a house that matches our original plan for this lifetime. If we exercise our free will without the wisdom of conscious awareness, we may end up with a house that falls down. If we exercise our free will and change our blueprint with the wisdom of conscious awareness, we may end up with a house that is even better than our original plan. This is why it is so powerful to meditate and learn how to “hear” the wisdom of our higher selves.

The more conscious and aware we are, the more able we are to learn in easy, pleasant ways, and the less we have to go through dramatic, difficult experiences like the accident you describe. This doesn’t mean we can always escape fate/karma any more than someone building a house can ensure a perfectly smooth experience, for there are just too many factors involved. Karma is like a crazy boomerang; we are constantly whipping boomerangs out there with every choice we make. If we are paying attention, we may be able to duck a nasty boomerang when it returns, but sometimes those boomerangs seem to come out of nowhere. Destiny is far easier to sense or pick up on than karma, because our destinies were consciously chosen by use before we incarnated, whereas karma is beyond our conscious control; it is simply a natural law that is constantly in motion.

The higher our state of conscious awareness, the more adept we become at working with the law of attraction. This doesn’t mean we can control and influence EVERYTHING; it just means we have more influence than we did before. Our job is to find that tricky balance between exercising our divine creative power and making peace with fate/whatever happens. Of course, we can always strive to create good karma for the future through kindness, service to others, etc., for what we send out is sure to eventually come back to us.

– Soul Arcanum


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Relationship Still Haunts her Many Years Later

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Emotional Well-being, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Relationship Still Haunts her Many Years Later


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Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am wondering about a relationship that started when I was 20 and ended three years later. It was very rocky and passionate; it still haunts me to this day. I am married to a wonderful man who is in many ways the opposite of the man who left me to pursue his dream career. Despite my best efforts to get over it, this haunts me daily. Is this unfinished business, some sort of karmic destiny, or am I obsessed by what I can’t have ever again in this life? When I found out that he got married five years after we had broken up, I felt like someone had winded me. It was one of the worst and most embarrassing moments of my life, since our mutual aquaintance assumed I was past all of this. I’m hoping you have some insights for me. Will we ever meet again to put this to rest? Will we be together in the next life?

Anne

Dear Anna:

You are not alone; I receive many questions like yours at Soul Arcanum, and also do many readings for people who have similar issues. You’ve asked if this is unfinished business, karma or obsession, and I think all three are going on. You have a strong karmic connection to this individual, which means your relationship never really ended – it just went dormant on a physical level for a while. There is a lot of unfinished emotional business here, which is causing you to obsess about him. Though we tend to view obsession as something that is unhealthy, obsession is really a call from our subconscious that we are missing something important. In this case, it’s a sign that you have a deep wound that needs more healing.

Many people continue to have dreams about important people from their past for the rest of their lives. I often dream about my ex-husband; in fact, I probably dream about him more than I dream about my current husband, which feels strange and unsettling. In these dreams, I am usually hoping my ex will be “nice” to me. At first, I never had dreams in which he was kind to me, but over the years, the dreams have gotten more and more positive. I always wake up from those dreams feeling ridiculously happy that he bothered to give me the time of day.

These dreams have led me to realize that I still feel guilty about our marriage ending and some of the choices I made when we were together. I feel bad that I was unable to fulfill my vow to remain married to him until death. While I am very happily remarried, my ex doesn’t seem happy in his own life, so I still have a strong desire to make sure he is okay. Every time I interact with him in some way, I am reminded that he may still be hurting because of choices I made in the past. Though I may have moved on in my physical life, on a metaphysical level, I am still a few decades back, trying to find a way to make everything all better.

I also often think about a boyfriend I had in college who hurt me very deeply. As he was an angel when he was sober but a devil when he was drunk, I just can’t believe some of the things he did when he was drinking. There is a part of me that still seeks to understand and make peace with it all. Whether we are dreaming about someone from the past or they keep popping into our minds when we’re awake, it’s a sign that we have some unfinished business with that person or a wound that needs more healing.

The feelings you describe are both normal and very common. Just as the body is constantly seeking to return to balance, the soul is constantly seeking to work out any kinks or issues in order to find new peace and understanding. On a conscious or physical level, we may have moved on, but if there is debris from the past that has been swept under the proverbial rug, our subconscious mind will keep trying to drag it out so we can deal with it more appropriately.

This is what is happening when someone from the past pops into our minds. Usually, the feelings we last experienced in relationship to that person come with the thought of them; at the first hint of emotional pain, most of us stuff our thoughts of that person back under the rug. Thus we may go through years of having someone pop into our minds, for if we keep pushing them back under the rug, they remain where we may trip over them every time we pass through that inner room.

As we move through life, we are constantly growing in strength and wisdom. When we become more capable of dealing with something that happened in the past, we tend to notice thoughts about it more because we aren’t so quick to shove it back under the rug. When we finally become capable of truly dealing with something, instead of pushing those thoughts away, we begin to turn toward them with curiosity, as you are doing now. We begin to ask why this person keeps coming to mind and perhaps drawing correlations between what we’re experiencing, the patterns we’ve experienced over the years, and this old wound or issue from long ago. Instead of shoving thoughts of that person under the rug, we hold them up to the light and ponder the best way to deal with them.

It is highly likely that you will be drawn back into relationship with each other in future lives so that you can work through the karma between you. Further, whether positive or negative in nature, strong emotions create a gravitational force that draws us toward the object of those feelings. However, it is important to keep in mind that these relationships are ultimately not about the other person; they are about our own personal lessons and issues. While we may have karma with someone, we don’t actually need to interact with that person to learn whatever that relationship may have to teach us or to make peace with that individual. All of that can happen on a metaphysical level.

That being said, if you keep thinking about someone from the past and longing for closure, I think you’re wise to honor those thoughts and feelings as signs from your inner being regarding something important that you need in order to feel the way you want to feel and create what you want to create in your life. In many readings on such matters, Spirit has encouraged people to act on such feelings by seeking the person involved out and meeting with them. This can be very powerful, for it almost always leads to a far different experience than the person expects. For example, when the person who has felt “in love” with a certain individual for many years meets them in person again, they may realize that the person they have been in love with no longer exists and perhaps never did. In other words, they’ve been in love with an idea of a person, not a real individual. If someone has <q>hated</q> someone for years, they may realize upon meeting them again that they are not the monster of their memory and imagination. Such meetings can spark sudden and lasting change as they lead the sufferer to let go of fantasies rooted in the past and move on to more fully enjoy present realities.

When the individual can’t be met in person for some reason, meeting on a metaphysical level can be just as healing. This is especially helpful when the individual who is “haunting” you has died. While these encounters can be affected via meditation, a hypnotherapist would be able to guide you into a deeper level of experience and help you work through any strong feelings that come up so that you can achieve lasting peace and freedom from obsession.

Soul Arcanum

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Why Isn’t the Past as Malleable as the Future?

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Law of Attraction, Manifesting by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Why Isn’t the Past as Malleable as the Future?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’ve been struggling with the idea that all time exists simultaneously. If this is the case, why doesn’t it feel like that? It feels to me like the past is known while the future is unknown. If all time exists right now, then shouldn’t the past be as malleable as the future?

Rob

Dear Rob:

I like that you’re questioning abstract theories in light of your own personal experience. We can hypothesize all day long, but until we have direct personal experience of something, we can’t know whether it is “true” or not. The whole notion of time boggles my mind, too. Since I’m no physicist, all I can do is pass on metaphors from Spirit and relay my own experiences with transcending space/time in order to access psychic information.

Given some reflection, I think everyone will agree that our own personal experience of time isn’t constant. Our state of consciousness has a dramatic effect on our perception of time. When an artist is in the flow, the hours fly by, but when that same person is being paid by the hour to do something boring, time seems to move at a snail’s pace. During meditation, if we’re trying unsuccessfully to let go of conscious awareness, time will seem to drag, but if we’re able to get beyond normal waking consciousness, we can be “gone” for long stretches without any conscious awareness of time passing. Of course, the most striking passage of time without awareness happens when we are asleep. One minute we’re dozing off, and the next, we’re waking up a day later with either no recollection of the hours that passed in between or vague, fleeting memories of the dream adventures we had throughout the night.

My point is that our experience of time is variable and depends on our own state of consciousness. Our conscious minds are rooted in the physical dimension, so they perceive time in physical terms. The more we are consciously focused on the physical world, the more our experience of time tends to match what can be seen on a clock. Our subconscious minds and higher selves aren’t rooted in this realm, so the more we’re focused beyond the physical, the more flexible and fluid our experience of time will be.

In my own psychic experiences, beyond the physical realm, time seems more like a where than a when, for I can focus on a time and mentally go “visit” it. Psychics do this when they “tune in” to see what’s going to happen in the future. Psychically, time and place feel very similar, for when I transcend space to connect with someone’s energy, it feels much the same as when I transcend time to see what the future holds.

This is one reason why psychically pinpointing the exact timing of events can be tricky, for the source of that information exists outside of physical time. While spirit guides can offer lots of helpful general advice and information about specific events, dates and times seem to be beyond them. For example, I may be able to see a client in a wedding dress and deduce that she will get married, but to try to determine WHEN this will happen, I have to employ tricks like peeking outside for weather-related clues or going in search of a nearby calendar in hopes of seeing a date.

You’ve asked why, if all time exists simultaneously, it seems like what has happened in the past is already done and settled while what will happen in the future is far more open to being influenced. It’s my understanding that both are true: all time is happening now, AND the future is more malleable than the past.

When I ask Spirit about this, I’m given a metaphor. Imagine that everything – past, present and future – is made of cement. In the present moment, cement is constantly flowing from a huge cement mixer. The past is the cement that has already hardened into all sorts of shapes, the present is the cement as it is flowing, and the future is the space into which the cement will flow and take form. As it all exists right now BEYOND the physical plane, we can mentally (metaphysically) tune in and focus on any aspect of it. On a physical level, however, we can’t leave the cement mixer unattended, so we only experience what is happening right “now.”

Destiny might be thought of as the molds the cement is flowing toward – existing shapes in the path of the cement that it will conform to. By studying that landscape and the flow of this cement, we can sometimes predict the shapes it will take. The closer we are to where the cement will harden, the more we can predict what the future will look like.

If we take action to influence the flow, we can affect which way it goes. To manifest what we want in the future, we can mentally create the molds the cement will flow into. As we focus on various desires and ideas with emotion, they start to take shape on this landscape ahead of us. When these metaphysical molds are strong and clear, the cement conforms to them. When they are weak or unclear because we’ve not given them enough focused energy or because they’ve been countered by conflicting metaphysical influences, the cement will flow right over them or take a shape that isn’t exactly what we were hoping for.

There are lots of forces that influence the flow of this cement. Two big ones are destiny (the molds we established before we were born) and the desires/wills of other people. Everyone incarnate on planet Earth is sharing the same cement landscape. We each have our own little patch of it in the form of our own lives, but just as we frequently leave our homes to go various places, we often cross over into each others’ metaphysical territory and leave our footprints in their setting cement. We are constantly influencing others and being influenced by them.

Since we all share a lot of beliefs, expectations and experiences, we collectively tend to focus on the same things. For example, if there is much on the news about war, many people will visualize various aspects of war and thus reinforce those molds for the future. Similarly, many people praying for and visualizing peace can have an impact on how things unfold.

It helps me to conceptualize time as space like this. In my mind, what has already happened is to the left. This landscape is already “set” in that it has already hardened into certain shapes. As I move through life, the present is constantly flowing with me and determining moment by moment the shape of my personal experience. To the right, the future is a vast space that is empty of physical objects but full of metaphysical forms or potentials. By mentally walking back to the left, I can mentally relive what happened through memories and explore visions of past lives and such. By mentally looking toward the future, I can glimpse the molds that will influence how things will take shape. If I don’t like what I see there, I can take physical actions to influence the flow and mentally create new molds by visualizing what I desire instead.

Soul Arcanum

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Healer is Stuck in a Spiritual Slump

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Healer is Stuck in a Spiritual Slump


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My spiritual journey started with dreams of a past life in a Nazi concentration camp when I was seven years old. When I was 11, I had a near death experience from drowning. In my mid 20s, I discovered metaphysics and spent years learning as much as I could. I’m now 39, and I’ve lost touch with most of my spirituality. I can answer spiritual questions but there is no heart in it anymore. I used to be a spiritual healer employing various techniques, but that too has ended. People call me “psychic” because I can read people pretty well. How do I re-connect on a soul/heart level? How do I find meaning in my spirituality again? I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 12 months who was an old soul mate and I’m still working through this. We loved each other very much but we had very different life paths. My feelings of grief here have at times been overwhelming.

Paul

Dear Paul:

When we go through very difficult times in our lives, our vibration plummets. In order to enjoy the clear, strong sense of connection to Spirit you desire, you have to have a high vibration.

You write that you want to reconnect with Spirit on a heart/soul level. It’s highly likely that you were so emotionally devastated by this break-up that you closed your heart in order to avoid fully feeling this pain and to prevent further potential heartache in the future. If your heart is closed, you’ll feel emotionally dead and disconnected not only from Spirit but from all the joy and beauty in life.

One doesn’t have to go through emotional trauma to end up in a spiritual slump, however; all spiritual seekers go through periods like this, just as every area of our lives goes through cycles. It’s natural for our passions to wax and wane as we move from one interest and level of experience to another.

I too have gone through periods of relative spiritual indifference like you describe. I think most people who awaken spiritually and begin to experience amazing psychic phenomena eventually end up in a place where they miss all the excitement they enjoyed in the beginning.

It’s a bit like riding the same big roller coaster every day: The first time you ride it, it’s so exciting you can hardly breathe. You love how alive this ride makes you feel, so you’re eager to experience it over and over again. As you get more comfortable with it, you begin to relax and fully enjoy what you’re doing. Then one day, you notice that something has changed: The ride you used to be so excited about has actually become a bit boring! In fact, there are days when you dread strapping yourself into that seat. As you climb that first hill, you find yourself looking out over the landscape, searching for something new to try, somewhere new to go.

This is how it is with all endeavors. Everyone who starts a new job or path will eventually grow a bit tired of it. Usually when we are no longer thrilled by a path we used to adore, it means we’ve outgrown what we used to do and are being called to move on in some way. If we ignore our feelings, we feel deader and deader until we’re forced to change.

As for why we’d ignore those feelings, most of us have assumptions that we are destined to be a certain something or other – a banker, a doctor, a dancer, a spiritual healer – and we have all sorts of ideas about what fulfilling that role may entail. Getting locked into those labels and what we’ve done in the past prevents us from being truly authentic in the now.

To stay vibrantly alive, passionate and successful, we have to keep expanding and growing, and we do this by listening to our hearts. The fact that you don’t like how dead and disconnected you feel right now is your inner being calling you to wake up and listen so you can move back toward feeling the way you want to feel. Of course, to hear the guidance of your heart, you’ll have to first be willing and able to face the pain you’ve been trying to avoid since you and your girlfriend broke up.

After you’ve found healing and managed to re-open you’re heart, you’ll have to be open to doing something different than what you did in the past. Perhaps you’re being pushed to develop some new skills, start teaching what you know, or invent new spiritual healing or psychic connection methods of your own. The only way to find out is to listen to your true feelings and allow your own sense of passion and curiosity to lead the way.

Most of the time, skilled healers abide in faith that everything happens for a good reason, which makes it easy to deal with life’s ups and downs with equanimity. This is one reason why unwavering faith is a key trait for spiritual healers and other psychic workers. If you had this faith at one time, you must have lost it at some point or you’d be at peace with this break-up.

It sounds like you have a lot of ability that came to you naturally or as a result of spontaneous events. To supplement this natural ability, it’s wise to get some training in how to further develop and maintain both your psychic abilities and a clear, strong connection to Spirit. Having spiritual knowledge without actually developing psychic skills is a bit like hoping to become a surgeon by reading about how others have performed various surgeries without going to medical school and getting hands-on training yourself.

For example, some of the skills I gained in my training as a medium include learning how to put aside any personal issues in order to give all of myself to the psychic connection process. I was also taught how to shift my state of consciousness and raise my vibration in order to facilitate a strong, clear connection to Spirit. These skills have enabled me to tune in and get the information I need regardless of what is happening in my personal life.

It’s also helpful to remember that you have the power to manifest whatever you want in your life, including that feeling of heart/soul connection to Spirit. In fact, you are either consciously or unconsciously manifesting your experiences all the time.

We manifest a fascinating, fulfilling level of spiritual experience when we pour our hearts and souls into this area of our lives. If you think about it, you’ll realize that back when you felt deeply spiritually connected, you were actively engaging Spirit in an intense, passionate way. You were looking behind and beneath surface reality, and you were full of feelings of wonder, curiosity and appreciation for your spiritual journey.

When I start missing the magic and wonder I experienced early on, I ask Spirit to send me experiences that will move or fascinate me; after that, wondrous things begin to happen again. It’s powerful to vividly remember the feelings you hope to recapture so you can energetically shift into that vibration. If you felt it before, you can manifest it again by approaching it with the same energy and devotion.

Living a magical life begins within: when we look around us with fresh eyes, we begin to see things that others miss. When we look behind and beneath surface reality, all sorts of wonders begin to emerge. After we’ve been on a conscious spiritual path for years, it can seem like we’ve discovered all there is to discover, but there are ALWAYS amazing new discoveries waiting to be made.

Start looking for the extraordinary in the ordinary again: It was this sort of feeling and approach that led you to all the magic you lived in the past, and it’s this sort of vibration that will bring the magic of Spirit back to life for you.

– Soul Arcanum

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Finding Your Life Purpose

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Divine Guidance, Emotional Well-being by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Finding Your Life Purpose


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Many people talk about the higher purpose of life and our reason for incarnating. This has always been so confusing to me, for most of us seem to busily pursuing material possessions and the accumulation of wealth. Is there any higher purpose to life? If so, how can an individual discover his or her life purpose in order to pursue it? I’m sure no one wants to leave this world not having fulfilled their highest purpose. I would be grateful if you shared your thoughts on this matter.

Muralidhar

Dear Muralidhar:

There are indeed all sorts of ideas about the higher purpose of life on Earth. Most people look to religion for such explanations. I’m in harmony with some of the teachings of all the major religions, such as the Christian focus on love and faith and the Buddhist belief in karma and reincarnation. I’m in greatest harmony with the oldest religion, Hinduism, and its core teachings that we are all part of God, and through learning and growing via the cycle of birth, death and rebirth, we can progress toward enlightenment and eventually remerge with our Divine Source.

My personal views are based on the information I’ve received from Spirit throughout twenty years of spiritual reading work in combination with research into the near death experience and life between life therapy. (In life between life therapy, people are regressed to the period between lifetimes to review their plans for their next lives as well as all sorts of other very deep spiritual issues.) The main tenets of all of these sources mesh well, which suggests that even though I may not be able to firmly grasp the entire picture, I am honing in on some big truths.

The two main life purpose themes that emerge time after time in my own experience as a channeler of Spirit and in the NDE and LBL research are the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom and the development of an ever greater capacity for selfless love. While we all share this general life purpose, how that translates for each individual is of course unique. I believe we make our own plans for each life before incarnating, and that these plans are based on the karmic lessons and issues of previous lives combined with the desire to move to higher levels of learning and development.

The higher purpose for our life does not equate to a set plan, however, for we always have free will. In fact, once we get here in the physical, it can be very challenging to stay on track. This is why life on Earth is such a powerful learning experience: when we are plunged into this dramatic situation where we have to find a way to survive and get all our physical and emotional needs met, we tend to forget about the higher truths and lessons our soul is hoping to master.

The analogy of Earth as a school is popular because it is so apt. When we first begin the incarnation cycle, our lessons are simpler and more mundane in nature. There are people whose goal is to simply learn how to work with their divine creative power in order to create the material things they need to physically survive and enjoy life. Often when people graduate from learning how to physically survive, they spend a lifetime or two “playing” with their newfound power to manifest <q>the good life.</q> Eventually, this naturally gets boring and they start to ponder deeper questions and issues, at which point they begin a conscious spiritual journey. (They’ve been on a spiritual journey the whole time, of course, but they may not have been so conscious about it.)

To denigrate others’ goals and values is a bit like a college student sneering at kids who are just learning arithmetic; we’ve all had to go through the same basic lessons, so just because those classes no longer challenge or interest us is no reason to put them down. In fact, I’ve often seen that people who have been through a very difficult journey in life are being prepared to fulfill a very high life purpose. Their highest destiny is to move through the experience to the other side of it so they can become a source of help and healing to other people who are going through the same thing. In order to help people, we have to understand what they’re going through, so people destined to become great healers may go through years of darkness and misery.

In some ways, we are all always living our higher purpose, for whatever we’re going through is what we need to experience in order to grow into a higher level of experience. Thus we see people who have been touched by cancer creating cancer charities and support groups, and people who have lived some very dark years battling addiction becoming mentors and healers for other addicts.

To determine your own higher purpose, it’s wise to listen to your own life story and trust that it is leading you to the knowledge, experience and wisdom you need. It’s also important to honor and trust your passions and interests, for these are also trying to guide you to fulfill your destiny. This is how my own life’s work came about: I experienced the death of my first love at a very tender age, which made me all too familiar with grief and encouraged me to develop great compassion for the grieving. I also had amazing spiritual experiences that produced unwavering faith in an afterlife. As my own journey ultimately led me to profound healing, I developed a strong desire to help others discover the peace I had found.

Perhaps our highest destiny is to find or create something good out of our suffering. It doesn’t matter exactly what form it takes, the point is to transmute the darkness we encounter into something light. With this in mind, some key questions to help you determine your own life purpose include:

What unusual or extraordinary experiences have I suffered through? How can I turn my own struggles into something positive? What am I most passionate about or interested in?

Please note that your higher purpose in life does not necessarily relate to what you do to earn a living. Since someone has to build the houses and grow the food, what people do for a living should never be taken as a sign of how evolved they are spiritually. By way of a very famous example, someone can be the very embodiment of wisdom and unconditional love but work as a humble carpenter. In fact, having simple, straight forward sort of job can bless us with the time and mental energy to pursue higher aims.

Also, having psychic experiences does not necessarily mean you are meant to become a psychic professional. I often hear from people who have been having psychic experiences and want to know what they’re “supposed” to do with them. Since we are all psychic to some degree, that’s a bit like saying that lately we’ve been hearing noises and we want to know what we’re supposed to do with our ability to hear. What we do with our gifts and talents all depends on what we want and/or feel called to do.

To determine your higher purpose and find a way to fulfill it, you must listen to your intuitions, insights and conscience, for it is through these channels that you receive guidance and direction from your soul. The more you work with processes like meditation in order to clearly hear your higher self, the more you will tend to fulfill your higher plan for this lifetime. With this in mind, perhaps the most direct and powerful way to determine your life purpose is to engage in life between life therapy. For more information on this amazing process, I recommend books by Michael Newton, Ph.D., who wrote Journey of Souls, Destiny of Souls and Life Between Lives: Hypnotherapy for Spiritual Regression.

– Soul Arcanum

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When a Psychic Squashes Your Dreams

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Psychic Readings by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on When a Psychic Squashes Your Dreams


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My mother got an email reading done by a psychic, and she was able to ask three questions. Mom’s final question was if my new natural soap and skincare business would be a success. The psychic responded, “As it’s being planned at the moment, it doesn’t seem to be the biggest success, but if she could either sell the idea/ brand to a bigger company or work as part of a bigger brand, she’ll achieve happiness in her profession.” I emailed her regarding why I would have to do that when it’s not what I want to do, and her response was “I just gave you the answer I got – that’s how it works. It’s not my opinion.” This whole experience makes me think that readings can do more harm than good. It’s like psychics are playing God with your life and deciding your future. How can I discard the bad feelings I have from this reading? I’m using the LOA and creative visualization, and so far things are going great. I refuse to let this psychic tell me my efforts are all in vain.

Paulette

Dear Paulette:

I’m not crazy about the term soul contract; it could be misleading by causing some of us to feel like our loved ones somehow owe us something, and if they don’t do what we think they should do, then somehow they are failing us or reneging on some cosmic deal. When we talk about working on karma, we are wise to always focus on what we can do to make things right with others, not what we think they need to do to make things right with us.

Many people assume that finding a soul mate is the answer to their lifelong prayers for love, but this is often far from the truth. Soul mate relationships tend to be intense, passionate and often volatile because they are ripe with learning and growth opportunities. Further, many people view divorce or the end of long-term love affairs as the failure of those relationships, but in truth, those endings always propel us forward into new lessons and experiences, so they facilitate new growth and the potential for greater love.

I would keep an open mind about the deeper nature of your relationship, for no one can say for sure what the higher plan for you all may be. Even if your assumptions are valid, then the three of you all have strong soul connections to each other. It may be that your man has chosen to fulfill the contract he has with this younger woman and to tackle the lessons involved in that relationship instead of focusing on the lessons that your relationship may have to offer.

This brings us to the wisdom of remembering that we all have free will. Life puts before us an endless smorgasbord of learning paths and potentials, and we get to choose moment by moment what we will savor next. It’s entirely possible that your man is following his heart and in line with fulfilling his destiny, and is therefore not really avoiding anything. When we assume that we are right and others are wrong about deeper truths such as the soul nature of a relationship, we are almost always stuck in ego.

It’s also possible that you are caught up in a vow from a past life that is no longer valid or beneficial. When we make sacred vows, they can follow us from lifetime to lifetime until we consciously withdraw them and tell all levels of our being that we are free to move on. When we are caught up in an old vow, we often experience just what you describe: a tumultuous roller coaster of passion and conflict, union and separation, followed by reunion and another round of drama.

It’s clear to me that you have lessons to learn from the situation exactly as it is, and that it would be wise to smile upon all that happens with trust in a higher plan. It may be, for example, that your soul agreement was to come together in just the manner you describe: to return together lifetime after lifetime and feel that sense of connection, only to have him be pulled away or choose another path, and for you to learn to make peace with his decision and not having things go the way you think they should go.

Not even the greatest psychic can say for sure exactly what has been happening throughout your lifetimes together, and more importantly, WHY. One thing I do know is that any perspective that blames one party in a situation as wrong and the other as somehow unfairly victimized is very limited and distorted. On a soul level, you are agreeing to go through all of this too, so there must be a good reason for it. Given your inner conflict and turmoil about it all, it clearly holds powerful lessons for you personally.

All of this being said, I do understand how you feel. I had a similar experience with a woman I remembered having a very deep and troubled past life history with. I wanted us to do everything we could to make peace with each other and cultivate new love so that the next time we meet, we would have lots of good karma going in instead of repeating the same old patterns. She, however, demonstrated no interest whatsoever in working on our karma together. It became clear to me that I was far more troubled about the state of our relationship than she was, and perhaps there was great wisdom in simply letting it all go. Certainly it made no sense to insist on dancing with someone who clearly didn’t want to dance with me. To my great surprise, I eventually realized that I had learned and grown more from her refusal to “love me” as I wanted to be loved than I would have from working on the relationship with her.

What did I learn? I learned that I can’t always bend my spiritual path in the direction I think it should go. I learned to surrender with trust that everything happens for a good reason. I learned that I don’t need anyone else to do anything in particular for me to feel better – that I can reach for a high vibration and cultivate love and joy in my heart all on my own. I learned to trust even more in the law of attraction, and to keep in mind that when relationships go against nature or a higher plan, it’s like swimming upstream to try to keep them together. Perhaps most of all I learned that I don’t have to get a certain person’s love or approval to be happy and to love and approve of myself.

This is a really huge lesson to learn, for we all hunger for love, and we also tend to value the love of people who are hard to win over more than the love of the people who already adore us. We can thus spend lifetime after lifetime seeking the love of one particular individual obsessively, when deep down, what we really hunger for us a sense of wholeness and well-being in and of ourselves. All these relationships, soul agreements, soul contracts, karmic entanglements and the like are just dramas through which we work out the love within us and between us and the Divine, which means we can get what we need through an endless number of experiences. We don’t need any particular individual to soar free and clear of old issues, wounds and hang-ups, for everything is ultimately about us and our own journey to Divine Grace.

I recommend you let go of making this guy so special in your mind and heart, and begin to look at all of this in a more general, symbolic way. What does this man symbolize for you? What are the lessons and issues you’ve been working out through this relationship? If you focus on those deeper personal issues, you can set yourself free of this drama and move on to new lessons and more fulfilling connections. Your own heart and soul determine the quality of your experiences far more than your history does; if you are at peace and full of love, you can soar free of old patterns to cultivate much higher levels of experience.

– Soul Arcanum

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Soul Work, Soul Contracts and Karma

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Karma, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Soul Work, Soul Contracts and Karma

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’m confused about the nature of soul work and soul contracts. I was involved with a man I know to be my soul mate. He wouldn’t commit and was seeing a younger woman. Through various experiences, I came to realize that I have shared a number of past lives with him. In the most recent past lives as well as in this life, a third soul has interfered with us establishing a relationship. (It is always this younger woman. Whenever we start to work things out, she interferes.) I know we have a deep soul connection, but I also know that he is afraid of doing the soul work to resolve the karma between us because it is painful. I need to know if it is possible to complete the soul work between us without him, since he is refusing to fulfill the soul contract between us. We were supposed to be together, but he is thinking of marrying the younger woman. I wish him the best but want to be free of all of this suffering.

Karan

Dear Karan:

I’m not crazy about the term soul contract; it could be misleading by causing some of us to feel like our loved ones somehow owe us something, and if they don’t do what we think they should do, then somehow they are failing us or reneging on some cosmic deal. When we talk about working on karma, we are wise to always focus on what we can do to make things right with others, not what we think they need to do to make things right with us.

Many people assume that finding a soul mate is the answer to their lifelong prayers for love, but this is often far from the truth. Soul mate relationships tend to be intense, passionate and often volatile because they are ripe with learning and growth opportunities. Further, many people view divorce or the end of long-term love affairs as the failure of those relationships, but in truth, those endings always propel us forward into new lessons and experiences, so they facilitate new growth and the potential for greater love.

I would keep an open mind about the deeper nature of your relationship, for no one can say for sure what the higher plan for you all may be. Even if your assumptions are valid, then the three of you all have strong soul connections to each other. It may be that your man has chosen to fulfill the contract he has with this younger woman and to tackle the lessons involved in that relationship instead of focusing on the lessons that your relationship may have to offer.

This brings us to the wisdom of remembering that we all have free will. Life puts before us an endless smorgasbord of learning paths and potentials, and we get to choose moment by moment what we will savor next. It’s entirely possible that your man is following his heart and in line with fulfilling his destiny, and is therefore not really avoiding anything. When we assume that we are right and others are wrong about deeper truths such as the soul nature of a relationship, we are almost always stuck in ego.

It’s also possible that you are caught up in a vow from a past life that is no longer valid or beneficial. When we make sacred vows, they can follow us from lifetime to lifetime until we consciously withdraw them and tell all levels of our being that we are free to move on. When we are caught up in an old vow, we often experience just what you describe: a tumultuous roller coaster of passion and conflict, union and separation, followed by reunion and another round of drama.

It’s clear to me that you have lessons to learn from the situation exactly as it is, and that it would be wise to smile upon all that happens with trust in a higher plan. It may be, for example, that your soul agreement was to come together in just the manner you describe: to return together lifetime after lifetime and feel that sense of connection, only to have him be pulled away or choose another path, and for you to learn to make peace with his decision and not having things go the way you think they should go.

Not even the greatest psychic can say for sure exactly what has been happening throughout your lifetimes together, and more importantly, WHY. One thing I do know is that any perspective that blames one party in a situation as wrong and the other as somehow unfairly victimized is very limited and distorted. On a soul level, you are agreeing to go through all of this too, so there must be a good reason for it. Given your inner conflict and turmoil about it all, it clearly holds powerful lessons for you personally.

All of this being said, I do understand how you feel. I had a similar experience with a woman I remembered having a very deep and troubled past life history with. I wanted us to do everything we could to make peace with each other and cultivate new love so that the next time we meet, we would have lots of good karma going in instead of repeating the same old patterns. She, however, demonstrated no interest whatsoever in working on our karma together. It became clear to me that I was far more troubled about the state of our relationship than she was, and perhaps there was great wisdom in simply letting it all go. Certainly it made no sense to insist on dancing with someone who clearly didn’t want to dance with me. To my great surprise, I eventually realized that I had learned and grown more from her refusal to “love me” as I wanted to be loved than I would have from working on the relationship with her.

What did I learn? I learned that I can’t always bend my spiritual path in the direction I think it should go. I learned to surrender with trust that everything happens for a good reason. I learned that I don’t need anyone else to do anything in particular for me to feel better – that I can reach for a high vibration and cultivate love and joy in my heart all on my own. I learned to trust even more in the law of attraction, and to keep in mind that when relationships go against nature or a higher plan, it’s like swimming upstream to try to keep them together. Perhaps most of all I learned that I don’t have to get a certain person’s love or approval to be happy and to love and approve of myself.

This is a really huge lesson to learn, for we all hunger for love, and we also tend to value the love of people who are hard to win over more than the love of the people who already adore us. We can thus spend lifetime after lifetime seeking the love of one particular individual obsessively, when deep down, what we really hunger for us a sense of wholeness and well-being in and of ourselves. All these relationships, soul agreements, soul contracts, karmic entanglements and the like are just dramas through which we work out the love within us and between us and the Divine, which means we can get what we need through an endless number of experiences. We don’t need any particular individual to soar free and clear of old issues, wounds and hang-ups, for everything is ultimately about us and our own journey to Divine Grace.

I recommend you let go of making this guy so special in your mind and heart, and begin to look at all of this in a more general, symbolic way. What does this man symbolize for you? What are the lessons and issues you’ve been working out through this relationship? If you focus on those deeper personal issues, you can set yourself free of this drama and move on to new lessons and more fulfilling connections. Your own heart and soul determine the quality of your experiences far more than your history does; if you are at peace and full of love, you can soar free of old patterns to cultivate much higher levels of experience.

– Soul Arcanum

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Why Do We Feel So Attracted to Some People?

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Karma, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Why Do We Feel So Attracted to Some People?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Why do we fall in love with someone we hardly know? Why does this sort of thing happen? If we don’t really know them, how can we love them? I find myself in this situation and it’s just not right because it breaks all social rules and conventions. I feel a very strong, happy pull towards a particular gentleman. It’s like my heart recognizes him and is so happy to hear his name and see him, but my head is telling me to stop being silly. I think he has a soft spot for me as well. Is this just some fleeting fantasy, or is his energy pulling me toward him? Are there spiritual reasons for why we feel so drawn to some people from the moment we meet them?
K.R.

Dear K.R.:

The first thing that struck me about your question is your assumption that if something breaks social rules and conventions, it’s just ‘not right.’ I believe the only way to know what is truly right is to listen to our hearts, for there are all sorts of social conventions that are pretty crazy.

There is always a reason why we feel a certain way, but that doesn’t mean we should act on all our feelings. For example, we may feel like punching someone who makes us angry or like eating a huge bag of candy, but that doesn’t mean we’re wise to act on those impulses.

Often we distract ourselves with momentary obsessions in order to avoid facing feelings or issues that are overwhelming. Many people in unhappy marriages try to distract themselves by projecting their unfulfilled desires on a third party. This allows them to focus on something that feels good while avoiding upsetting or disturbing thoughts and feelings.

Repressed desires can also spark inexplicable attractions. Many crushes are simply the result of boredom. We all crave excitement and romance, and if we are repressing our desires by not pursuing our dreams, the passion burning within us will seek release in some other way.

I’m not suggesting that all strange attractions are somehow misguided or unfounded – far from it – but in order to determine if there are good soulful reasons behind a strange attraction, it’s important to eliminate some of the more mundane possibilities. This is sort of like ghost hunting: before we attribute phenomena to something otherworldly, we’re wise to rule out common explanations.

There are many spiritual reasons we may feel strangely attracted to someone. Usually this strong pull is karmic in nature, and suggests a positive past life relationship. Since there are many reasons we may feel as we do, however, we’re wise to consider other possibilities. For example, we may fall in love with someone we didn’t know in a past life simply because they remind us of someone we once loved deeply. In these cases, we may have that familiar feeling of recognizing someone from a past life, and old feelings of love and passion may be stirred up even though the person before us is not the soul we are “remembering.”

This can also happen with people we’ve known in the past in this life. Often we are attracted to someone because they remind us of someone else. This doesn’t have to be romantic: if we meet someone who reminds us of a beloved grandfather, we may feel strongly drawn to him, especially if we haven’t fully grieved Grandpa yet. Our subconscious is forever guiding us to finish old business and resolve personal issues, so if we meet someone who stirs up something in us that needs more attention, it’s normal to feel a sense of attraction.

Our souls are also guiding us to what we need to experience in order to learn whatever we need to learn next. I often counsel women who are looking for true love, and as I peek into the future, I may see a man coming in who is not going to be a life long partner, but who will prove to be essential to her journey to fulfillment. Somehow, this relationship will help her to learn whatever she needs to learn or heal whatever she needs to heal in order to move to a higher level of experience.

The forces behind attraction are like the force of gravity: like naturally attracts like, and holes in our beings are naturally the first things to be filled as the river of time and experience washes over us. We all have deep issues that we’re not conscious of as well as desires and questions burning in our hearts, and we naturally draw into our lives the people and experiences that can help us move toward peace and fulfillment.

Further, we often mistake the soulful things we need for the people who represent them. A good example of this is the experience of transference, when someone who is seeking something profound like inner peace, happiness or healing falls in love with his therapist. The therapist represents feeling better, but in essence is just one channel through which what is needed can flow.

Something similar happens when a person symbolizes or embodies some trait or aspect we are being called to develop further ourselves. If we are drawn to someone deeply spiritual, our own inner being may be trying to get us to lean in a more spiritual direction. If we’re out of balance, we may feel strongly drawn to someone who represents the other end of the spectrum – hence the saying that opposites attract.

Attraction is energetic. When someone’s energy harmonizes well with our own, we feel like we “click.” If someone has a higher vibration than we do, it’s natural to feel drawn to them, and if someone has a lower vibration, it’s natural to feel repelled. So if being in this man’s energy field makes you feel uplifted, it’s natural for you to want to be near him.

Often we feel deeply drawn to someone because they are a soul mate � someone we’ve loved deeply in another place and time. In such cases, it’s important to remember that what we do with our loving feelings is up to us. If acting on romantic attractions would compromise our own values somehow, we can still love that person without going in a romantic direction.

Romance is a human experience: there is never a soul reason to have physical sex with someone, except for when we are destined to have a child together in order to bring a particular soul into the world. At the same time, however, there is never a soul reason NOT to have sex with someone. As long as we don’t go against our own truths and values, we are free to follow our hearts. Of course, depending on our circumstances, we are only as free as we are brave enough to break with convention.

Often this sort of situation arises as a spiritual test: Will we find the courage to honor the truth in our own hearts? Sometimes doing the right thing means one course of action, and at other times, it means something totally different. Here social rules and conventions prove to be great spiritual tools, for what we’re really doing is learning to trust our own judgment so much that we don’t need social convention to tell us what’s right anymore.

To figure out what this attraction means for you, you must first trust that there is a good reason for it. Then ask yourself what this person represents or symbolizes to you, and how he makes you feel. If this attraction was not about this individual, what might it be about for you on a deeper soul level?

I believe we’re placed in situations where we feel drawn to people and experiences that are somehow forbidden because we’re supposed to learn how to listen to and trust our own hearts. Choosing love is always the answer, but since what that means is unique to each situation, we must ask within and trust our inner knowing to guide us.

– Soul Arcanum

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