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Dear Soul Arcanum:
I was with my fiance, Scott, for ten years before he died. Scott’s mother is 84 years old, and we were his caregivers for the last year of his life. We bonded on a very deep level as we shared the pain of losing him. For the past three weeks or so, I have had extreme soreness in my neck and shoulders. I am a runner and attributed this to needing a new pair of running shoes, though this pain seemed strange and different from aches and pains I’ve experienced in the past. When I called Scott’s mom tonight and asked her how she was doing, she told me that HER neck and shoulders have been aching and that she had just found out that she has a pinched nerve. I didn’t even tell her about MY neck and shoulder pain. I am now wondering if it is possible that I was picking up on her pain, and if so, what you would call this. This is not the only time we have had a strange connection like this. While I don’t believe in coincidences, I haven’t always had these experiences; there seems to be something special going on with Scott’s mom. Have you heard of anything like this before?
K.
Dear K.:
Your question reminded me of all sorts of amazing personal experiences and stories I have heard from others over the years. For example, a few months ago, I awoke early in the morning feeling strangely dizzy and queasy. As I was very groggy, I wondered if I was getting sick but then quickly drifted back to sleep. I then dreamed that my teenage daughter came into my bedroom and told me that she was feeling queasy and didn’t want to go to school. I woke up from that dream and drifted off again. About fifteen minutes later, my daughter actually came into my room and woke me up and told me that she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to go to school. I then realized that my own physical discomfort had disappeared, and that I had been picking up on what was happening with her.
This sort of telepathic connection is known to be especially strong in twins. I recently became acquainted with an amazing story of identical twins who not only regularly experience each other’s pain, but also have physical manifestations of what happens to the other twin. For example, one twin got accidentally socked in the eye while playing at a playground one day, which led to her developing a black eye. At the exact moment that the twin was injured, the other twin experienced pain in her eye and later developed a black eye even though her own eye hadn’t experienced any physical trauma.
There are all sorts of amazing stories of people who experience a telepathic connection to another person that leads to physical symptoms like those you describe. This tends to happen most often with people who are emotionally very close, such as mothers and their children. Since it sounds like you are closer to Scott’s mother than many daughters are to their own biological mothers, I don’t find it at all strange that you would share a strong psychic connection. It’s also possible that the two of you have shared other lifetimes in which you were biologically related, which would further strengthen your psychic connection this lifetime.
My sense is that you are a very physical person, and thus your strongest psychic sense may be clairsentience. This would tend to cause you to pick up telepathic information kinesthetically, by feeling it in your own body. I imagine that your intuition tends to speak to you through gut feelings, and that you tend to experience strong emotions in your body such as having butterflies in your stomach when you are nervous or getting a headache when you are stressed. Psychic mediums who are strongly clairsentient are those who tend to physically feel how a particular spirit passed, or feel other physical sensations as a form of metaphysical communication. To describe a spirit, they physically feel what it was like to BE that person. Thus they may say something like, “I feel like I am very tall but like I am bent over with roundedness in my upper back, and I feel like I have facial hair; it is tickling my lip.” By contrast, someone more clairvoyant might say, “I see a tall man who walks a bit hunched over who has a beard and mustache.” As you might imagine, being strongly clairsentient would encourage the sort of physical experience you describe.
While what you experienced was tangible in that you physically experienced her physical pain, you are also receiving other types of telepathic information without being conscious of it. Just as we all receive visual, auditory, kinesthetic and other information on a physical level, we all do the same on a metaphysical level, but when we are strongly skewed to one modality, we may not pay as much attention to the other information. I would bet that you are picking up on Scott’s mom’s thoughts and feelings without realizing that those thoughts and feelings are perhaps not your own, for this sort of exchange tends to be more subtle than physical sensations.
The closer we are to someone, the more likely we are to absorb their thoughts and feelings. Of course, the more sensitive we are, the more likely we are to be affected on this telepathic level as well. When you put two people who are very sensitive and very emotionally close together, all sorts of telepathic experiences tend to result.
If we have empathy for the person involved, it can be very difficult to separate our feelings from theirs even if we know that what we are feeling is not our own. For example, when my son was an adolescent, he went through a period during which he was angry, sullen and irritable. I would be perfectly happy but as soon as he got in the car, I would find my mood radically shifting. He didn’t even have to say a word for this to happen; it was like this dark, heavy cloud had invaded my aura. Even though I knew that he was the source of my suddenly dark thoughts and feelings, trying to avoid being affected by his bad mood was like having a passenger smoking a cigar in my car and trying to not inhale any of their smoke. It is fascinating to me that being in an enclosed space seems to be as powerful on a metaphysical level as it is on a physical level; if I were near my son in another setting besides the car, it was easier to separate my energy from his. While removing myself from his presence was most effective of all, in situations where someone we love is in great distress, we may pick up on how they feel even if they are thousands of miles away.
When we care about how other people feel, our auras are open to them. Instead of saying to ourselves, I don’t care how this person is feeling, I just want to feel good, we are constantly energetically checking on them much as we might do by phoning them to see how they are doing. It is this caring that bridges our energy fields. When we empathize with someone, we start to entrain to their energy and may be affected by their mood. To be invulnerable to the emotional or physical pain of someone we care about, we must become adept at setting our own tone and cultivate faith that everything happens for a good reason, so even if someone is struggling, we know that they are experiencing exactly what they need to experience in order to learn whatever they need to learn.
Soul Arcanum