Tag Archive: empathy


Telepathic Pain Connection

Filed Under: Energy/Vibration, Healing, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection, Relationships, Strange Phenomena by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Telepathic Pain Connection


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I was with my fiance, Scott, for ten years before he died. Scott’s mother is 84 years old, and we were his caregivers for the last year of his life. We bonded on a very deep level as we shared the pain of losing him. For the past three weeks or so, I have had extreme soreness in my neck and shoulders. I am a runner and attributed this to needing a new pair of running shoes, though this pain seemed strange and different from aches and pains I’ve experienced in the past. When I called Scott’s mom tonight and asked her how she was doing, she told me that HER neck and shoulders have been aching and that she had just found out that she has a pinched nerve. I didn’t even tell her about MY neck and shoulder pain. I am now wondering if it is possible that I was picking up on her pain, and if so, what you would call this. This is not the only time we have had a strange connection like this. While I don’t believe in coincidences, I haven’t always had these experiences; there seems to be something special going on with Scott’s mom. Have you heard of anything like this before?

K.

Dear K.:

Your question reminded me of all sorts of amazing personal experiences and stories I have heard from others over the years. For example, a few months ago, I awoke early in the morning feeling strangely dizzy and queasy. As I was very groggy, I wondered if I was getting sick but then quickly drifted back to sleep. I then dreamed that my teenage daughter came into my bedroom and told me that she was feeling queasy and didn’t want to go to school. I woke up from that dream and drifted off again. About fifteen minutes later, my daughter actually came into my room and woke me up and told me that she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to go to school. I then realized that my own physical discomfort had disappeared, and that I had been picking up on what was happening with her.

This sort of telepathic connection is known to be especially strong in twins. I recently became acquainted with an amazing story of identical twins who not only regularly experience each other’s pain, but also have physical manifestations of what happens to the other twin. For example, one twin got accidentally socked in the eye while playing at a playground one day, which led to her developing a black eye. At the exact moment that the twin was injured, the other twin experienced pain in her eye and later developed a black eye even though her own eye hadn’t experienced any physical trauma.

There are all sorts of amazing stories of people who experience a telepathic connection to another person that leads to physical symptoms like those you describe. This tends to happen most often with people who are emotionally very close, such as mothers and their children. Since it sounds like you are closer to Scott’s mother than many daughters are to their own biological mothers, I don’t find it at all strange that you would share a strong psychic connection. It’s also possible that the two of you have shared other lifetimes in which you were biologically related, which would further strengthen your psychic connection this lifetime.

My sense is that you are a very physical person, and thus your strongest psychic sense may be clairsentience. This would tend to cause you to pick up telepathic information kinesthetically, by feeling it in your own body. I imagine that your intuition tends to speak to you through gut feelings, and that you tend to experience strong emotions in your body such as having butterflies in your stomach when you are nervous or getting a headache when you are stressed. Psychic mediums who are strongly clairsentient are those who tend to physically feel how a particular spirit passed, or feel other physical sensations as a form of metaphysical communication. To describe a spirit, they physically feel what it was like to BE that person. Thus they may say something like, “I feel like I am very tall but like I am bent over with roundedness in my upper back, and I feel like I have facial hair; it is tickling my lip.” By contrast, someone more clairvoyant might say, “I see a tall man who walks a bit hunched over who has a beard and mustache.” As you might imagine, being strongly clairsentient would encourage the sort of physical experience you describe.

While what you experienced was tangible in that you physically experienced her physical pain, you are also receiving other types of telepathic information without being conscious of it. Just as we all receive visual, auditory, kinesthetic and other information on a physical level, we all do the same on a metaphysical level, but when we are strongly skewed to one modality, we may not pay as much attention to the other information. I would bet that you are picking up on Scott’s mom’s thoughts and feelings without realizing that those thoughts and feelings are perhaps not your own, for this sort of exchange tends to be more subtle than physical sensations.

The closer we are to someone, the more likely we are to absorb their thoughts and feelings. Of course, the more sensitive we are, the more likely we are to be affected on this telepathic level as well. When you put two people who are very sensitive and very emotionally close together, all sorts of telepathic experiences tend to result.

If we have empathy for the person involved, it can be very difficult to separate our feelings from theirs even if we know that what we are feeling is not our own. For example, when my son was an adolescent, he went through a period during which he was angry, sullen and irritable. I would be perfectly happy but as soon as he got in the car, I would find my mood radically shifting. He didn’t even have to say a word for this to happen; it was like this dark, heavy cloud had invaded my aura. Even though I knew that he was the source of my suddenly dark thoughts and feelings, trying to avoid being affected by his bad mood was like having a passenger smoking a cigar in my car and trying to not inhale any of their smoke. It is fascinating to me that being in an enclosed space seems to be as powerful on a metaphysical level as it is on a physical level; if I were near my son in another setting besides the car, it was easier to separate my energy from his. While removing myself from his presence was most effective of all, in situations where someone we love is in great distress, we may pick up on how they feel even if they are thousands of miles away.

When we care about how other people feel, our auras are open to them. Instead of saying to ourselves, I don’t care how this person is feeling, I just want to feel good, we are constantly energetically checking on them much as we might do by phoning them to see how they are doing. It is this caring that bridges our energy fields. When we empathize with someone, we start to entrain to their energy and may be affected by their mood. To be invulnerable to the emotional or physical pain of someone we care about, we must become adept at setting our own tone and cultivate faith that everything happens for a good reason, so even if someone is struggling, we know that they are experiencing exactly what they need to experience in order to learn whatever they need to learn.

Soul Arcanum

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Empathy and Emotional Control

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Empathy and Emotional Control

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a few years ago, and while I agree with the diagnosis, the label doesn’t quite fit me. I am fairly psychic and more so all the time. I’m clairsentient: I feel too much, care too much (though I don’t think that’s really true!), and I’m always feeling other people’s feelings. Sometimes the energy of others is so strong it can make me go nearly insane. One big facet of borderline personality is an unclear sense of self. I can’t be in a relationship because days into one I’ll have a flip and think, What the hell am I doing? I don’t like this person! and I’ll bail. Some days I see through the eyes of a poorly evolved person; other days I am lost in the glory of Spirit’s sight. It is a true gift but also a curse because I can’t fit into this human world. I don’t expect you to cure me. I know this is my fate. I just want to know if someone like me can find peace between the two worlds I inhabit, or if I will always struggle. Thanks for listening, Soul Arcanum.
Your friend wading through the unseen worlds with her pants hitched up…
Ingrid

Dear Ingrid:

It sounds like you’re a highly sensitive, empathic person. All empaths have an unclear sense of personal boundaries; this is what enables them to feel what other people are feeling.

I recommend you resist being labeled, for you are so much more than BPD or any other abstract idea. Not long ago, you would have been seen to have an impulsive, sensitive, perhaps artistic nature, but no one would have considered you mentally ill. My sense is that you are able to basically function in life, so I would take a spiritual perspective on your struggles instead of accepting a medical diagnosis like this one.

As for whether or not you will always struggle, it’s important to remember that you have the power to create what you want in your life. Much of what you’re dealing with is challenging for all human beings. We are all affected by other people’s emotional energies; some of us are just more affected than others, or are more aware that those vibes are originating outside of us.

Your relationship issues are also pretty normal. They may be a bit more dramatic for you, or perhaps you are extra self-aware and able to observe yourself in relationships and question why you do the things you do. It is important for empaths to realize that sometimes the emotional swings they experience result from shifts between their own feelings and the feelings of others. For example, if someone really likes us and feels good around us, and we tune in to their emotions, we will feel really good around them too. When we later center in our own truth, we may feel very different. So learning how to stay centered in your own emotional truth is key.

As for creating what you want in your life, it sounds to me like you are already on a path to greater spiritual growth and positive change. You are highly sensitive, self-aware, and clearly desirous of a higher level of experience. You know that you want to find a greater sense of peace, and you are manifesting answers and guidance from the Universe, such as this very article. So in my view, there is no need to feel wrong, incomplete or hopeless; things are not so bad, and they’re getting better all the time.

Ultimately, this is a matter of emotional and psychic control. When we get out of balance in terms of development, we experience struggles like those you describe. For example, when someone is centered in their lower chakras, they may work like crazy but without planning or foresight. Someone who is centered in their heads will tend to be overly rational and analytical, and out of touch with their bodies, hearts and spirits.

In your case, you seem to be at the mercy of your own and others’ emotional energy. Since it’s never wise to repress or deny your feelings, in order to create a better sense of balance, you need to bring other aspects of your being up to speed.

On a physical level, this may mean getting more grounded, strong and healthy. Since you also need to learn how to control emotional energy (your own as well as the psychic energy of others), training in a martial art like Chi Gong may prove very helpful. This will also strengthen your aura, which is your natural defense against outside psychic influences. Yoga would also help you get centered energetically and give you a way to find a calm center within whenever you start to feel frazzled or overwhelmed.

On a mental level, meditation should prove perfect for you, since you need to find a way to get calm and gain control of your emotions. By strengthening your mind, you will learn to control your impulses and also become more aware of what is yours energetically versus what is coming from other people.

On a spiritual level, I recommend learning how to control your psychic sensitivity, and developing greater faith. To control your sensitivity, you must get centered within yourself. When a sensitive person lacks a strong sense of self-awareness and self-control, they’re like a tree without a deep, strong root system: with the slightest breeze they can be blown right over. If you get grounded and centered in your own truth, self-awareness and sense of well-being, you’ll develop personal strength from within. Then no matter how the wind may blow around you, nothing will topple you.

This is all about learning how to set your own tone. This means you decide how you want to feel and you consciously cultivate that vibration from within. Basically, you are deciding who you want to be and how you want to feel, and you are consciously generating that vibration and radiating it outward instead of soaking up the energies all around you.

You can still be sensitive and helpful to others if you do this; in fact, you can be far more helpful. For example, to save someone who is drowning, you don’t want to dive into the water and start drowning yourself; you want to remain stable on the shore, throw them a lifeline, and then pull them in. When you are rooted in a high vibration, you can lift those who are struggling up to a higher state of being.

Faith is absolutely essential, for when you have faith that all is well and everything happens for a good reason, you can remain centered in your higher self even when others are going down. When your faith is sound, you can feel compassion for others without having to literally feel their pain. Some people think they are better healers or counselors if they are empathic, but I disagree: two people in pain is NOT better than one. It’s better to have one person in pain and a caring person who is feeling great who can lift the one who is hurting to higher ground.

Finally, despite what many people may tell you, I encourage you to let go of the idea that you need to be protected from other people’s energy. I know that because you are sensitive, you often feel overwhelmed, but that’s mainly because you resist intense energies out of fear. You’ve been overwhelmed for a long time, and you’ve survived just fine. Instead of trying to protect yourself from intense, dramatic or unsettling energies, RELAX. Trust that everything is and will be fine. Send love to everything and everyone. This will reverse the flow of energy, so instead of being bombarded by others’ feelings, you will radiate your own vibration outward. Divine love will then flow through you, which will make you feel wonderful and may help others in many ways as well.

– Soul Arcanum

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Empathy and the Highly Sensitive Person

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Empathy and the Highly Sensitive Person

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’ve been having these weird experiences that my friend calls “Sonya’s feelings.” The first time was while crossing a busy street in my hometown. As I stepped out onto the crosswalk, a feeling of dread came over me, and I saw a “vision” of something that seemed inconsequential. As the “vision” passed, I grew cold, fearful, faint and nauseous. Since then, this has happened numerous times at that same crosswalk – in fact, I can’t go that way anymore. I also have had them at home, work and in other public places. They hit me with no warning, and can sometimes leave me physically drained, faint and sick for a short period.

It’s hard to recall the details of the “vision” aside from the general feeling I have. I feel fine mentally and physically aside from these episodes, so I’d rather not see a doctor about this yet, for I’m afraid they’d put me on anti-psychotic meds or something! Have you ever encountered anything like this? I’d really appreciate any light you could shed on what’s happening to me. Thank you!
– Sonya

Dear Sonya:

What you’re experiencing is a normal symptom of high sensitivity. You’re like a lovely little insect with long antennae; whenever a breeze stirs, your antennae go up. As they’re new and a bit rough around the edges, your impressions get lumped together in a general feeling of unease. It’s how your body tells you that “something is happening.”

I recommend you read The Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide, by Kyra Mesich, Psy.D. In it, she describes how one night, she suddenly had an intense wave of depression wash over her, and the same negative thoughts about herself run through her mind over and over again. She put on a certain CD, but found it so depressing that after a while, she had to turn it off. The next day, she saw a client who told her that he had been up all night the night before, feeling suicidal and repeatedly playing that same CD on his stereo!

I share this because it illuminates how empaths may be affected by outside energies and never realize where those feelings are coming from. Had Mesich not seen that client the next day, she may never have known why she felt as she did. When she began to pay attention to her feelings and what was happening with other people in her life, she realized that she was “picking up” others’ emotions.

Psychic empathy can happen whether you are physically close to the other person or not. It can even happen with someone you haven’t seen for years if you still have a strong psychic bond to them. This can make it hard to figure out that what you’re feeling is coming from someone else.

You can also pick up the energy of thought forms and the emotions of discarnate spirits. For example, at that particular corner in your hometown, I feel you’re walking through a cloud of energy from a traumatic experience that occurred there in the past.

As for how you can deal with all of this, you basically have two options. First, you can “close down” your sensitivity in some way. This is not what I would recommend, however, because it’s like chopping your psychic antennae off: it’s a step backward in terms of spiritual evolution. You’re sensitive for a reason, and there are lots of blessings in being just the way you are, so it’s best to learn how to work WITH your true nature. I thus recommend your other option, which is conscious psychic development. That way you can determine what these feelings mean.

When psychics get hit with a wave of feeling, we stop and ask what it is about. In response to that asking, we may have a person come to mind and then get a feeling about that person. For example, the other morning a wave of emotion came over me. (Note that term “came over me”: it reflects our instinctive understanding that this energy is moving in from somewhere outside of us.) I stopped and asked where it was coming from, and then I just knew that I was picking it up from my husband. He was at his last day of work, for he was retiring that afternoon after 26 years in the fire service. When I met up with him later, he told me that the reality of retiring had hit him that morning, and he’d gotten very emotional.

Once I knew where this feeling was coming from, I could consciously detach from it if I wanted to. Sometimes, however, I actually like being empathetic with my loved ones. I like knowing how my husband or my child really feels by experiencing what they are feeling WITH them. It creates a great sense of intimacy and understanding.

Of course, I don’t want to be at the mercy of everyone’s feelings all the time. Years ago, I often got swept up in others’ emotions and felt overwhelmed like you do. Then I learned how to consciously control my own psychic barriers.

To do this, first you have to stop and separate your awareness from what you’re feeling, then ask your inner knowing and/or Spirit where this is coming from. Sometimes, it may be from within you. For example, grieving is a long process, and we may think we’re just fine when something unconsciously triggers a memory of the loved one we have “lost,” and another wave of grief rises up to be healed and released.

Once we have determined that some feeling is NOT our own, it’s much easier to detach from it so we can study it objectively. Some psychics never learn how to do this; perhaps that is the only way they can work. These are the sort of psychics who actually feel in their own bodies what the spirits or people they are connecting with felt. They say things like, “I have a man coming through from Spirit, and I’m feeling a lot of pain in my chest…”

This is not the most comfortable way to move through the world! I much prefer to observe such things mentally as opposed to emotionally or physically. I think it also allows us to access higher guidance and more useful information, because it’s hard to maintain a very high, clear vibration if we’re caught up in emotions like fear, pain or sorrow.

Once you’ve separated from the feeling, ask Spirit what it’s about. Getting clear answers will require general psychic development, so you might take a psychic development course, read books on the subject, begin to meditate regularly, etc. I’m limited in space here, so you’ll have to explore your options for psychic development elsewhere.

You seem to be highly kinesthetic with a primary psychic modality of clairsentience. This means that you FEEL things with your body and all of your being. Your secondary modality seems to be clairvoyance. This is apparent from your question, where you talk about first having feelings, then visions. You also use the word “feel” throughout your description of your experiences.

Clairsentience is generally the hardest modality to master, because it can be so hard to put words to feelings. You can work with your gift for clairvoyance and translate those feelings into images, which can then be interpreted. I also recommend you work on developing clairaudience, because it will really help you put words and thus meaning to your impressions.

Your psychic training should also include the ability to turn your antennae off if you want to. I have an agreement with Spirit that unless I need to know something for some reason, I won’t go on alert with every little ripple in the psychic atmosphere.

For example, I never dream about airplane crashes or global catastrophes. I also don’t pick up on problems with people I’m close to unless I need to know for some reason. While I can always ask and receive answers, it would be hard to function if I was psychically “on” all the time.

May you refine your natural abilities into a great psychic gift!

– Soul Arcanum

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