Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have sensed spirits and other energies around me for a long time now. I see spirits most often, and I try my best to be brave about it. This has been going on my whole life. I talk to as many people as I can about all of this, and rarely find anyone who has similar experiences. Sometimes I ask myself if I’m going insane, but more often I find myself wondering what it is I should do with this gift. I do feel a sense of emptiness like I’m not fulfilling something that I should be doing. I also have dreams that predict the future. My four-year-old son is having experiences of his own; he is talking about shadows and people around him that aren’t there, and telling me about them in great detail. I want to know why I have these abilities while people around me do not, and what I should be doing with this so I can better educate myself and help my son.

Matt

 

Dear Matt:

In order to answer you, I’m going to divide mediums into two different categories: those who are born with the ability to perceive spirits, and those who develop that ability through focused effort. For obvious reasons, those who are born with the ability tend to have a harder time with their psychic experiences than those who actively pursue psychic development.

The experiences of most natural mediums tend to follow certain patterns. Their ability to perceive spirits is usually present from birth, so when they learn to talk, they begin to speak of people that the rest of the family can’t see or hear. Sometimes this is frightening to the child and he will cry and tell his parents about a man or woman or monster who is frightening him. Sometimes, his experiences are wholly positive, and the parents will simply notice that he seems to have an imaginary friend with whom he chatters away. Usually, there is a mixed bag of both positive and negative experiences: they may start out positive, but if the child senses his parents are uncomfortable or frightened by the whole subject, he also gets uneasy or frightened, which opens him up to experiences of a more negative nature.

At that point, the child may start to reject interaction with spirits and seek a way to shut down his abilities. If this is accomplished, there will be a lull in psychic activity until adolescence, when it may flare up again. (Adolescence entails a surge of life force energy coupled with a tendency to deeply question and/or reject what we’ve been told, which naturally tends to produce spiritual experiences.) Unfortunately, because adolescence tends to be a time of great emotional turmoil, those psychic experiences tend to be frightening or negative in nature, which leads the medium to again try to shut them down. There are many, many natural mediums in the world who no longer perceive spirits because they found a way to shut down their abilities in the past. Psychic abilities that have been shut down can remain dormant indefinitely until something happens to trigger them again.

Of course, like you, there are some natural mediums who never tried or managed to psychically shut down, and they often feel just as you do: They wonder if they are crazy or losing their minds, and they have no idea why these things are happening or what they are supposed to do about them.

This course of experience is very different from that of a person who purposefully strives to develop their spirit communication abilities. These folks experience none of the inner conflict of the natural medium, for they very much want to be able to connect with spirits. They are almost always initially motivated by the personal loss of a loved one with whom they very much want to connect. Experiencing the pain and grief of losing a loved one also fills them with great compassion for the grieving and the desire to help others who are struggling with loss. Instead of spontaneously experiencing more spirit contact than they are comfortable with, these seekers must struggle and strive to experience any at all.

I imagine that natural mediums were all seekers like this in a past life; that they had a tremendous desire to connect with the spirit world and worked hard on developing that ability, and this is why they came into this life with that ability already in place. Frequently, natural mediums whose abilities have long been dormant become active spiritual seekers when something happens to trigger that desire; indeed, most gifted mediums have a good amount of natural ability that they have spent a lot of time and energy refining over the years.

It is also clear that genetics play a role, as you can see in the fact that both you and your son are natural mediums. Psychic ability seems to run in families, much like musical ability, athletic ability, and other talents. When this is the case, the question isn’t so much what you are supposed to do with your ability, but what do you want to do with it? There are many people in the world who have a lot of athletic ability who never had the drive or desire to become professional athletes, and that is perfectly okay. Just because we developed an ability in a past life or were born with the genes to excel in a certain endeavor doesn’t mean that we have to go in that direction now.

Desire and motivation are key here. To be a great medium, you have to have more than an ability to perceive and communicate with beings in other dimensions; you also need to have compassion for the grieving, a strong desire to help, and the willingness to live a life of service. So instead of asking yourself, “What am I supposed to be doing with this ability?” I encourage you to ask “What do I WANT to do with it?”

I think the key to all of this for you is your feeling of emptiness: that feeling that you are not fulfilling something that you “should” be doing. I am so glad you included that detail, for it is a huge clue that your inner guidance is trying to tell you something about all of this.

It could be that you are simply meant to learn more about how to control your abilities so you can help your son; perhaps he is the one who is going to apply his natural mediumship abilities to a life of helping others. Maybe, however, you are meant to move in this direction yourself and begin to put your natural psychic talents to good use by working with the grieving. If that feels right to you, then there are all sorts of ways to refine your abilities. The most time-honored methods and traditions can be found in the Spiritualist church, but as all paths are unique, it is really important to pray and ask to be guided to the best path for you.

I was once in your shoes: I was experiencing spontaneous spirit communication and didn’t know why or what to do about it. When I made clear, conscious decision to use my mediumship to help others, all I needed in order to do that began to show up in my life in wonderful ways. I recommend that you pray for guidance and dialogue with Spirit, and listen to that feeling/voice within you that has been pulling at you. This is your inner guidance system; it is how the divine will answer the questions burning in your mind and heart and lead you to whatever you personally need to know or do next.

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