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Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am a woman with a male friend whom I know loves me, but I have closed myself to those feelings. I don’t allow myself to think about him or enjoy the look in his eyes when we meet because I am afraid. Since we both have families, according to my religious beliefs, this love we feel is wrong. My question is, am I doing more harm than good to myself by blocking the energy of this love? On a metaphysical level, what am I doing by blocking the energy that’s coming my way and not letting my energy go out to him? I have started having some small twinges of pain and other sensations on the left side of my chest area around my heart. Have I blocked my heart chakra with this move? Thanks for your wisdom.

K.

Dear K.:

We can and do create blocks in our chakras all the time. We do this when we resist something out of fear of what is happening or might happen in the future. When we try to deny or repress our emotions, we constrict our life force energy. When we make a habit of this, over time we can develop all sorts of problems and issues. So in not being “open” to this man and the feelings between you, you have indeed energetically closed yourself down.

Just last week I wrote about how frequent headaches are associated with psychic development because many people feel overwhelmed and try to shut down their psychic perception. Our chakras are directly linked to our physical health; everything begins in spirit and funnels down into physical manifestation, so when chakras are forced closed or remain blocked over time, we can experience physical pain and even serious health problems. I’m not telling you this to try to scare you, but rather to emphasize that you are wise to listen to your body, for it is definitely trying to tell you something.

Our bodies don’t lie, deny the truth, twist things or rationalize the way our minds do, so often the truth our bodies tell doesn’t match what society thinks is proper or even what we believe is right on a conscious level. When our bodies are saying one thing and our minds are saying another, we have to make a choice: do we choose what FEELS right in our hearts or what we’ve come to believe is right based on what outside influences (other people, religious teachings, etc.) have told us in the past?

My sense is that you live in a culture where breaking with tradition may be much harder and more frightening than it is for many of us these days. While I can appreciate that, it’s also clear to me that it is this outside pressure that is making this lesson so powerful for you. If your decision were easy, it wouldn’t require you to ponder it so deeply and question what you’ve been told in order to find your own truth.

I recently made the acquaintance of a minister who works with the dying. He is a true spiritual warrior who is on the front lines every day, doing his best to serve God and do what he believes is right. He is also in a situation very similar to your own in that he is married but is in love with another. So far, he too is shutting his heart down in order to do what he thinks is right, and he is totally miserable.

As he is a devoted Christian, we had a long chat about how Jesus questioned the beliefs and mores of his culture, and listened above all to the truth speaking to him through his own heart. I think we are all wise to ponder how history’s great spiritual teachers developed the truths upon which today’s religious views are based. It wasn’t by listening to what other people told them was true or what had been established as right or wrong in the past; their celebrated truths arose from within them.

No one can tell you what is right for you. In order to make that decision yourself, you must pray to be guided to clarity and listen within for that guidance. As you do this, it may greatly help you to ask yourself and Spirit a few key questions, such as:

What is the path of fear, and what is the path of love?

When we make decisions based on fear of how others may react or what may happen in the future, we put outside influences before the truth in our own hearts; constrict the flow of our life force energy, personal potential, health and joy; and make our lives smaller. When we make decisions based on love, curiosity, passion, hope, desire and inspiration, we put the wisdom of our hearts first, which expands the flow of our life force energy, personal potential, health and joy. This naturally encourages our lives to grow bigger, more colorful and more fulfilling. Though it is always more rewarding, it is often far more difficult to choose the path of love, for it requires courage as well as faith in ourselves and the divine voice speaking to us from within.

Another great question to ask yourself is: what would I want those I love to do if they were in my shoes? For example, if your husband was in your shoes, would you want him to follow his heart or would you want him to deny his heart out of a sense of obligation to you? Sometimes, it’s most telling to ask ourselves what we would want our children to do in the same situation, for many of us love our children more than we love anyone else – including ourselves. So if your daughter was in your situation, what would you hope she would do?

Finally, it’s important to realize that you can heal your life and any metaphysical problems you’re experiencing without doing anything in particular in your relationships to other people. The first step is to acknowledge the message the pain in your heart is sending you. Instead of judging yourself harshly for feeling as you do, you must give yourself permission to feel as you do and allow that energy to flow freely. This does not mean you necessarily act on those feelings; it means you allow them to be what they are without judging, rejecting or ignoring them.

There is much you can do on the inside to feel better even if you don’t change a thing on the outside. None of this is really about your relationships with other people anyway; it’s all about your relationship to yourself and the Divine. I have a free Chakra Clearing and Charging Meditation that will help you energetically cultivate inner peace and well-being regardless of what is happening in your outer experience. that will help you energetically cultivate inner peace and well-being regardless of what is happening in your outer experience. You can find it at Soul Arcanum.

Finally, I have an idea on how you can have your cake and eat it too: go ahead and act on your desires, but do so on a metaphysical level only. Many people in similar situations end up fulfilling their desires in their dreams, and some of these even go on to learn how to astral travel in order to live a “double life” on other planes. For more on this, Google “astral love” or “astral sex,” and check out D.Soul Arcanum Conway’s book Perfect Love: Finding Intimacy on the Astral Plane.

– Soul Arcanum

 

 

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