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Dear Soul Arcanum:
I’ve read about some hellish near-death experiences and now I’m terrified of dying. Can you help me work through this fear?
Donny
Dear Donny:
It’s interesting to note what different individuals choose to focus upon. All of life is composed of both darkness and light, yet some people cling to the light they see, while others obsessively worry about the dark. In the case of NDE’s, the tremendous majority of experiences reported are beyond positive. People describe them as blissful, ecstatic, moving, and life-changing in wonderful – even miraculous – ways. Since nearly all of this research is so positive in nature, I often recommend people study near-death experiences to overcome their fear of dying.
Nevertheless, it is true that some people have reported dark or hellish near-death experiences, and to ignore these negative experiences is just as foolish as it would be to fixate on the dark, dangerous and ugly we find in life. The physical universe is full of contrast: good and bad, positive and negative, dark and light. It is this contrast that gives life meaning. Without the contrast, we could not know happiness, beauty, love or even wisdom.
One aspect of spiritual wisdom is to know darkness but no longer fear it. Some people seek peace by ignoring everything that disturbs them and denying their own faults and weaknesses. This does not produce true and lasting peace, of course, for “reality” is constantly rearing its ugly head and marring their idyllic view of themselves and the world. To find lasting peace, we must seek the truth instead of running from it and rise above needing life and people to be anything but what they are. We must acknowledge the darkness as well as the light, and not only accept that this is the nature of reality but embrace and appreciate the perfection of All That Is. It may seem ironic, but it is only by letting go of our resistance to darkness that we begin to shine so brightly that we move beyond being affected by it.
According to ancient teachings such as those found in The Tibetan Book of Death and Dying, death is something of an obstacle course. The more prepared we are for death, the better we will be able to control what happens when we cross over and where we end up. While I’m certainly not a fan of traditional religion, I do believe it’s foolish to throw the baby out with the bath water by actively disbelieving in everything ever taught in a church, temple, or religious text. Every culture around the world and throughout history has shared some key beliefs, including the belief that there are heavenly and hellish realms in the afterlife, and that how we live here on Earth will have a strong influence on where we end up when our time here is over.
I think what scares people the most about death and “hell” is the sense that they have no control over what happens to them. This is where you can begin to work through your fear, for all knowledgeable sources from esoteric teachings to the very near-death experiences you reference suggest that we DO have control over what happens to us and where we end up when we leave this life.
For example, people who have had negative NDE’s tend to have some things in common. Many of them almost died due to suicide attempts or drug overdoses. Others were atheists who had lived according to very superficial values. Basically, their spiritual lives were either non-existent or a mess. It’s my understanding that we are constantly building our home in the afterlife from the inside out, so if our inner worlds are full of darkness, heaviness, sorrow, anger, or other negativity, we will find ourselves in similar realms when we leave our bodies.
People who have had positive NDE’s also tend to have some things in common. Though they may not have been overtly religious or even spiritual, they had cultivated a lot of love in their lives. In fact, the main reason most of them returned was to be here with their children or other people they loved with all their hearts. They had good reasons to live: relationships, goals and dreams they had been cultivating that they wanted to see through to the end. Most of these NDEs involved accidents or illnesses and were not a result of self-destructive choices.
Further, in nearly every account of a positive NDE that I’ve read (and I’ve read many!), the person who almost died lost all fear of death. Interestingly enough, even people who have negative experiences tend to be changed in positive ways and, despite the darkness of their experience, also lose their fear of death. For most people, a negative NDE is a valuable wake-up call that makes them realize that that the direction they are heading in life is not going to lead to where they really want to end up.
The Earth plane has its own hells and paradises, so why wouldn’t other realms? People who make poor choices in the physical can end up in slums or prisons, while people who make wise choices can create their own paradise on Earth. It’s my understanding that the same is true in the afterlife, only what we do physically doesn’t matter so much as what we do metaphysically: what we think about, how we feel, and what we intend. The more we fill our inner worlds with love, faith, peace and gratitude, the more likely we are to end up in a higher realm when we leave this world. Given all of the above, you are wise to be facing your feelings about death and reaching for greater peace and faith.
Fortunately, there are all sorts of things you can do while you’re alive to align with a positive experience when you leave this world. It shouldn’t come as any surprise that most of these things are the same practices that various religions and spiritual teachings have promoted throughout the ages.
First we have the age-old prescription to meditate. Through meditation, you can become conscious of the inner world upon which your afterlife experience will be founded, and gain control over your thoughts and feelings to purposefully cultivate a beautiful inner landscape. Through detachment from the physical, meditation also promotes a deep sense of peace and well-being, a higher vibration, and all sorts of spiritual wisdom, insights and powers.
Though I’m not in harmony with “fire and brimstone” sermons on all the reasons we are surely going to hell, I do think that the idea that to go to heaven, one must be a “good” person is valid. Since our inner landscape becomes the world we inhabit when we leave this life, we are wise to make our thoughts and feelings as beautiful as possible. The more we purify our minds and hearts of negativity, make peace with life and other people, and strive to do good in the world, the more we will be blessed both in this life and in the realms beyond it. We are all wise to cultivate the highest personal vibration possible, and to do this, we must constantly strive to grow into better people. Ignoring our faults, putting off the hard work of facing ourselves and overcoming our weaknesses is foolish, for we take the shadows in our hearts and souls with us when we leave this world.
Finally, I think one of the best things we can do to prepare for the next world is to begin to explore it now by learning how to lucid dream and astral travel. The more adept we are at traveling in metaphysical realms, the more at home we’ll feel when we shed our bodies and move on to new adventures.
Soul Arcanum