Dear Soul Arcanum:
I’ve been married for three years. In the first years we were together, I felt very close to my husband; I felt like I could sense what he was thinking and feeling, often finished his sentences, etc. I felt like we were on the same page, so to speak. Then about four months ago, he was promoted to a new position that requires him to travel every week. (He’s home on the weekends.) I’ve noticed a dramatic shift in our relationship since this change; I just don’t feel that same sense of connection. I’m afraid we’re drifting apart on a deep, energetic level. How can we recreate and maintain that strong psychic connection we had in the beginning? Thank you so much!
Holly
Dear Holly:
When people live together, they naturally grow closer. In fact, the more time we spend with someone, the closer we grow to them. This is more than a result of our overt interactions, for we actually entrain to each others’ vibrations. This is also why it’s so powerful to spend time with a guru. A guru’s energy would be more powerful than our own, so it would raise our vibration. Similarly, when we’re in a weakened or vulnerable state, and we’re around someone who is down or depressed, they may drag us down to their level too.
When we first fall in love with someone, we are constantly building deep psychic cords with them. When we’re in their presence, we send tons of energy to them and receive the same back. We stare into their eyes, listen very intently to all they say, and send them tons of love and admiration from our hearts. We spend as much time as possible with them, and when we’re not with them, we’re usually sending out cords to them by thinking of them and feeling full of love for them, and all of this forges deep psychic bonds. When we then move in together and begin to sleep in the same bed, we spend about 1/3 of our lives basking in each others’ auras, which naturally leads to a great deal of entrainment. (Of course, having sex with someone is one of the most potent ways to form a psychic bond with them.)
Soul mates are people we forged strong loving psychic cords to in other lives. It’s like there is a rubber band connected between our hearts, and the stronger the love, the stronger and thicker that elastic band. Wherever we go, whether in this life or the afterlife, if we are separating from someone we’re strongly corded to, tension is created on that band. In this way, we are naturally drawn back together again. The same thing happens with people who hate each other, by the way: any intense emotion will create a strong cord that draws those parties back together again.
Since all of the above things deepen psychic bonds, it only makes sense that when we do the reverse – when we spend less time with someone, don’t sleep with them every night, and are caught up in lots of individual new personal activities or endeavors – we tend to feel distanced from them because we’re not feeding that psychic cord like we used to.
How to Maintain a Strong Psychic Bond with Someone at a Distance:
First I encourage you to talk to your husband about how you’re feeling. Depending on how open he is to metaphysical subjects, you may have to phrase some of what I suggest here in more mainstream terms. (For example, instead of talking about your auras and psychic connection, you might talk about your feelings and your desire to feel closer to him.) Your goal with this talk is to make a joint conscious agreement that you will both pour a lot of psychic/ emotional/ mental energy into maintaining a strong sense of connection.
My husband and I often talk about how connected
(or disconnected) we feel. We’ve been together for nearly a decade now, and because we established in the beginning that we wanted to maintain the passionate connection we had early on, it has become normal for us to feel strongly linked. When we don’t, we miss it right away. As high divorce rates reveal, sustaining passionate relationships long-term takes a LOT of focus and energy; it doesn’t just happen. Many people wake up too late to this truth – like when their partner is walking out the door in frustration. If you want this relationship to prosper, you’ll both have to devote yourselves to keeping it vibrantly alive.
Though you may not be able to be together physically during the week, you can still be together mentally, emotionally and spiritually. After all, it’s only the physical body that is restricted by the laws of space and time – this is why psychics are able to peek into the future or tap into others’ energies even when they’re a world apart.
To remain metaphysically connected, you should communicate often. You might text each other throughout the day or send daily emails to each other. If you don’t know what to say, agree on a couple of things you’ll both cover, such as what stands out to you as you look back on your day, or what you’re most missing or appreciating about your partner at that time. The more you open up emotionally when communicating, the more you’ll feed your psychic bond to each other.
It would also be wise to schedule a phone call once or twice a day, perhaps first thing in the morning and then again at night before you go to bed. The key with this is not to just chat like this is some daily chore but to truly connect via the phone.
When you hang up, you might agree that as you drift off to sleep, you’ll meditate upon each other and imagine connecting in love: hugging, kissing, whatever you want to do. This will send energy to each other and also facilitate you both connecting in your dreams/on the astral plane, which will really help you stay connected. You might ask for this to happen as you fall asleep at night by setting your intention or praying for help from your guides and angels in meeting up with your partner during the night.
Surround yourselves with each others’ essence. For example, while he’s away, you could sleep in a shirt he has worn. The more it smells like him, the better. My husband wears Brut deodorant, which I love, and his shirts always smell like this. When he used to spend nights working at the fire station, I would often sleep in his shirt and breathe in his smell to feel close to him. Obviously, you want your husband to have something of yours that smells of your own essence too. (If he doesn’t want to wear it, he can just snuggle up with it, of course!)
You could also buy each other necklaces to affirm your mutual commitment to staying close. Wedding bands serve a similar function, but it will be especially powerful if you devote these articles of jewelry to creating and maintaining an extraordinary level of connection. Charge them by holding them in your joined hands. (Place his in your hands, and yours in his, and then place your hands so they’re touching.) Talk together about how you are going to keep this relationship full of passion and intimacy, and vow to each other to devote yourselves to this purpose. Then put the necklaces on each other. Every time you look at the necklaces in the mirror, touch them or think about them, remember your vow and send some loving energy to your partner.
Finally, make plans for what you’ll do together when he gets home on the weekend, and look forward to that time with a wonderful sense of anticipation. Talk about it all week long, think about it and smile, and remember: absence can make the heart grow fonder. With the right frame of mind, I think his new schedule could lead to some really passionate weekends!
– Soul Arcanum
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